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The Chronicles of Esan!
Another droll day. Nothing too noteworthy happened, but I have gained some new insight on the mysterious and powerful Oz emotion we call love. (I had this entry on private for but a moment, only so that I can return to it on my laptop since I had to leave my comp.) I've realized that I am not in love with girl number one from my last journal entry. It is only a crush as I suspected, which is sort of disappointing actually. I do crave a relationship, something deep and compassionate that'll fill my life with whatever's missing. Yet at the same time, I'm exulted by it, for the fear of it turning into a nightmare is just too strong and too real to risk. I suppose my journal will continue to be my personal confidant for now, although the likelihood of it being replaced is growing increasingly high, especially with that message from Tori. I've been a bad friend to her, and countless others, I've neglected so many while I talked carelessly on Skype. I apologize for that to all who read this. Tori's and my friendship has been rather weak lately, with me not talking to her and all. So in order to fix this, I'll probably have her replace my journal. If you had a mouth, journal, you'd be frowning right now, but don't worry, you'll always have a place in my heart, and a place on my screen, since I'll most likely run to you with my secrets and thoughts due to me usually only updating you late at night. An odd tendency, I admit, but it's true. I find myself coming on here increasingly more at night, since my thoughts seem to come more clearly to me while lying down listening to the radio. Anyway, back to my main point, secrets are the quickest way to bond, and I really do want to patch things up with her, Tori is an irreplaceable friend that only comes once in a lifetime, I've only a few friends that I can truly call irreplaceable (not to be rude.), so I'd like to keep them. I will come to her with my problems, and perchance I will confide to her any secrets that I want to leak.