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Asukako from Warriors for the Weak |
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This journal entry is about a single role playing character of mine, Asukako. Please read it.
Asukako from: Warriors for the Weak
Asukako is probably my favorite role playing character. She's the one that stands out the most against my other characters in my mind. For those who don't know who Asukako is, she's a rough, stubborn, blunt, and angry woman. She's the very opposite of a proper, sweet noble woman. Asukako is also an incredible fighter. Anyway, in Asukako's past, she was crazy. Literally. Asukako was insane... in those times Asukako called herself "Raven." During the times when she used that alias she would murder people, countless innocent victims. It didn't matter to her who they were. But then a knight who had been seeking her came and fought against her and won. Before he could kill her another person came and stopped him, another role playing character of mine in the role play named Takara. Takara is a Dream Walker, a mythical race I made up that I suppose you could consider angels or something. Dream Walkers are supposed to watch over the living world, take care of the dead, and also protect our dreams. Well, after Takara stopped the knight from killing Asukako she placed a spell over Asukako's mind that fixed whatever it was that was messed up inside of Asukako's head that made her crazy.
After that, Asukako made a vow to make up for what she had done and use her sword to help the innocent instead of slaughtering them. Takara traveled along with her, and together they joined a group called the Warriors for the Weak, which is a group of only elite warriors who ban together to help those who can't protect themselves; namely peasants. Asukako became to leader after it had been passed down to her. During this time she met Leon, a young teenage boy who'd decided to join the group. Even though he didn't really mean anything then, later on, Asukako grew to like him. And Asukako doesn't really like anyone. She's anti-social and whenever she speaks it's usually just to tell someone to shut up or something like this: "...How about you just take that thing and shove it strait up your a**, because quite frankly I don't give a s**t." Either way, in the role play Asukako has never smiled, not once.
Asukako is a character who has anger issues. She came be easily pissed off, and if she is, she'll also say something rude along with beating the crap out of you. It doesn't matter how buff the other person is, if you piss her off you're going to end up with some sort of a bad injury at the end. But Asukako has more... depth, I suppose I could say. Her entire character doesn't just revolve around being annoyed at everything. She feels extremely guilty over what she had done when her name had been Raven. Asukako said this once too when she was talking to Leon and she'd asked him what it was that he was afraid of, and after he'd given her his answer she told him what she was afraid of in return: "The only thing that I truly have fear over is myself. I'm scared that one day I'll just snap and go insane again."
Asukako is a trapped character. Even though she's constantly fighting in order to get revenge for the people that she killed, Asukako never feels as if she'll ever be forgiven. The only thing that she's good at is fighting. Using her sword and her sharp tongue is all that she really has. She's so trapped up in her guilt that whenever she thinks about her soul being redeemed for her past sins she just thinks that it's stupid idea. Asukako had no idea how to move forward. She does, but at the same time she doesn't want to. She doesn't feel as if she deserves it. Asukako is a very stubborn character, but in reality she has absolutely no pride in herself. If she were to turn and look at herself in the mirror, all that she would be able to see would be blood and the face of a monster. She would probably punch the mirror so she wouldn't have to look anymore.
Well... when Asukako started to gain a liking for Leon, she found that she grew more attatched to him than she really should. She didn't really realize it at first, but after a while it started to dawn on her. After the group completed their last mission and disbanded, Leon and Asukako traveled together instead of heading off in their seperate ways like the others had. This part happened after the first Warriors role play ended, the one that I had created. But Fool Me Twice, who I call Rose, made a story about Leon after the group had disbanded. In his story, Asukako and Leon fell in love, but after two years Asukako left him out of guilt. Even though when Rose was talking about his story once when he'd been brain storming it and when it came to Asukako leaving over her guilt he'd considered it a bad way, I know that if the role play had continued going on and we'd been able to continue Asukako and Leon's relationship that this is the way that it would have turned out. Rose said that he was disappointed about how that was all that he could think of to make Asukako leave, but it's actually the best. Even though during those times when Asukako was with Leon she was happy, she was also depressed and angry at herself. I already said before that Asukako is a trapped character, she wants to move forward but at the same time doesn't, and even if she wanted to move forward she wouldn't know how to. Being with Leon, Asukako would feel as if she couldn't give him everything that Leon wanted. She still felt guilty, she was stuck in her past just like she always was. And, Asukako was scared. She's always been afraid that someday that the Raven would appear again, and when it did, that it would begin hurting people again. She was also afraid that she would hurt Leon. So Asukako wouldn't have just left Leon out of guilty from her past, it would have also been over her personal fear and because she didn't want to drag him down with her since she when she looked up towards the future she couldn't manage to take a step forward.
Love is love. While I probably won't experience true love for a few more years, I do know that love is an extremely powerful emotion that drives us to do things that we normally would never do. Love makes you feel stronger and happier, and most of all you would want to keep the person that you loved safe. Asukako loved Leon. But she felt that if she stayed with him that she would damage his life. She didn't want to hurt him, so she left. Even though she knew that this would hurt him, she felt that it was the best decision. Leon was really all that had, she had no family and it wasn't as if she could go out and find the friends that she had when she a child. So this made him incredibly precious to her. She couldn't allow herself to stay with him, knowing that she would just drag him down. She wanted him to be happy, and with her there, she just didn't feel as if that would be possible.
Asukako is not a happy character. I want Asukako to have a happy ending, but she's a totally trapped character. In the end when Asukako dies, she's probably just going to be miserable and hating herself for everything that she's done instead of thinking that she tried her best and was able to experience true love. Asukako is meant to be a symbol about how we can trap ourselves in our lives. We can be ruled over by our hatred, fear, or anguish. Everything that Asukako does always just back fires on herself. Through the years she's only caused herself much more extreme pain because of this. When you become trapped, you find yourself getting thrown deeper and deeper and eventually you're going to think that you're never going to be able to pull yourself back out. Asukako is also meant to be a symbol over what people can do to themselves in order to make the life of someone else better. Even though Asukako leaving Leon only happened until after the role play ended and Rose wrote the story about what Asukako had done, it is, all in all, what she would have done regardless of if Rose had written it or not. Unless you can give your full self to your partner your relationship is going to be doomed. She couldn't do that. And even though Leon was the single thing that she found had ever made her feel truly happy she didn't want to make him experience pain.
Rose has made a new Warriors role play as a sequel to mine, and eight years has passed since the last group had disbanded in the role plays. In the role play Leon called the Warriors back together, and Asukako also came to rejoin the group despite knowing that Leon would be there. Now the role play has started and is soon going to hit thirty pages. Exactly what choices Asukako is going to make in the role play I'm not sure. Even though Asukako is the fictional character that I wrote up myself, she's a person on her own. I don't decide what she does, Asukako does. As I said before I want Asukako to have a happy ending, but her being herself it probably isn't going to turn out this way.
I want Asukako to be able to take a step forward and begin to release herself from the prison that she's trapped herself in. Asukako is a dark character with a dark symbol yet a light one about love. If Asukako is able to finally free herself is going to be decided by the role play, not by me.
Asukako is Asukako. She's not someone who is just hateful. I wanted to make this journal entry so people could understand this and also learn some sort of a lesson, or at least make them think.
 MythicalYoko · Sun Jul 09, 2006 @ 01:40am · 4 Comments |
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