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Originally posted this in Extended Discussion. Biiig ******** mistake; people kept taking it at face value, totally ignoring the adjective ******** in the title. Journalizing because I liked it anyways.
H'okay, so!
I'm sitting at my computer eating yogurt, and as I'm chewing on the spoon afterwards and looking at the cup itself, it comes into my mind that yogurt could be quite the effective metaphor for life's simple pleasures. Any of life's simple pleasures.
Y'all should know what yogurt is, that nummy dairy goostuff that comes in the little cups with the foil lids. When I was little, there were only two flavors that mattered. For all I know or care, they were the only two flavors that even existed back then: vanilla and strawberry. And "strawberry flavored" yogurt was just vanilla with chunks of strawberry in it. Good times, man. Gotta love being a kid and eating your yogurt.
But vanilla and strawberry aren't enough for people. We need to have more. Along come blueberry, banana, peach. Then another strawberry comes along, with no strawberries in it. You heard me, strawberry yogurt with no strawberries in it. "Oh, oh! I want my yogurt to TASTE like strawberry, but I don't want it to have strawberry pieces!" So we've got all these flavors, and then we've got more, chocolate yogurt, peanut butter yogurt, chocolate + peanut butter yogurt.
So... we have all these flavors. We're happy now, right? WRONG. We want more. Insert YoCrunch, a brand of yogurt put out by Yoplait. YoCrunch comes in several flavors, vanilla/strawberry/banana, but aside from the yogurt itself, you get a plastic container filled with granola. Okay, not too bad. But it's not enough. There are yogurts, either YoCrunch or other brands, that come with little containers of granola, or Nestle Crunch bits, or Oreo crumbs, or Reese's bits.
And then there are more flavors! My latest trip to the grocery store introduced me to Creme Savers yogurt. Creme Savers are among my favorite candies in the world, a few fruit + cream flavors, and one chocolate + caramel flavor. And now it comes in yogurt form. What's wrong, folks? Your strawberry-less strawberry yogurt not good enough for you? It's not enough that it tastes like strawberry, now it's got to taste like strawberry CANDY before you'll buy it?
What ever happened to the simple pleasures in life, like vanilla yogurt?
 Happy Emo Child · Sat Sep 25, 2004 @ 12:58am · 1 Comments |
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