Dear Journal,
I'm depressed again over my sister... I don't know what to do! I've tried forgetting about it and just being happy for her... but I can't! I'm so angry and bitter it's unreal! I don't even feel like living another day...
I just don't see how everyone can be so happy for her, you know? Since she was fourteen she has put our family through hell: drinking, smoking, drugs, sex, wicca! Everything!
It's just not fair that someone like that can get pregnant and everyone be happy for her.
I have never seen my mom so happy before, and it hurts. It hurts to no end! I've tried my whole life to live up to her expectations and I just feel like she doesn't appreciate me. I've never done anything bad, I graduated high school and college, and I have a great job!
My sister, on the other hand, has nothing! She graduated high school, sure, but she's not married, doesn't even know for sure who the baby's father is, is living with our mother, has no job, and is driving MY CAR while I make the payments on it!
It hurts so much to know everyone is so happy for her... I've tried so hard...
I have nothing and no one to live for! I wake up each morning dreading to start a new day! I don't want to wake up. I can't stand myself! I get sick to my stomach everytime I think about this stuff!
I just want to run away and never some back! I never want to talk to anyone in my family again! I'm tired of trying to prove myself!
Tora Yukino · Tue Mar 20, 2007 @ 04:23pm · 5 Comments |