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havent been here in a while... so i thought maybe i would give you a little catchup on all the things that have happened so far!lol

i went back to college... taking up my liberals.... im also currently looking for a job... anywhere but a food place will be fine! lol and things with the family are going pretty good too.. i mean.. we moved out of the lihue house and are living with my uncle... i got a kitty... and finally my own room! lol

my mom went into the hospital on monday but she's ok now... thank goodness... i hopefully i can get back into the online world of gaia!! hahaha

theres your update for now. thanks!!^^
JESSI

so.. yea i graduation... now my life will be even more of a hell hole because im gonna be stuck in this house all day...

but at least i got rid of the stressfulness of highschool! graduation went well... and so did project grad! there was lots of fun things for us to do... we had a jumping castle, a hypnotist, those sprayon tattoo things... basket ball, beads, board games, uUh... there was a massage place, and a hair cutting place, and a nails place, and even a pedicure place! it was awesome... Marriott supplied us with OnO food too! chicken and noodles, and clam chowder, and fish, and beef and vegitables, and salad... oOh and the deserts sucked... yeah it did... but that was only until they brought out the ice cream... oOH THAT was super delich!

over all it was an awesome night.... now... ill i have to do is wait for the fun part to start... but that will be like when im 30... lol


out!

update on life...

GRADUATION IS FREAKEN 11 DAYS AWAY!! WOOT!!

and i hope and pray on goodness sake that i walk... lol.. im working my putoOty off trying to pass tokita's class.... and i actually think that im gonna do it!!^^ lol...

still unemployed... but thats only until im 18... uUh...


Polka Dots make me smile and so do butterfingers....

ew... i just thought of something.. what if there were polka dotted butter flies?..
wait.. there are...
i went to a birthday party today.. and i went swimming.. and now im all red...i sat in the sun for about 2 hours... trying to tan my legs... but they are resistant to the damn sun! i swear... i mean.. all the rest of me is red... but my legs are white as the clouds... lol thats depressing..

ok well.. theres my update...
oOh wiat... HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO CRIM SINCE HIS PHONE NO MORE MONIES... and I CANT WAIT UNTIL MINES!!^^

Ook...Why?? ugh... senior year... and i have all the more reason to break down than ever before...omg... life was perfect back in sophomore and freshman year...
ok... well maybe not perfect... but it was better than now... i mean... my parents werent together back then... and now theyre not together while still being together.. its stupid... i mean... now.. every time i see that man i get all angry and like i want to beat the living crap out of something...

i mean... how could he do this? and then... on top of that... he makes like he did nothing wrong and that everything is ok... its retarded!! i mean... how can he think that i wouldnt get mad at something like that? how can he think that everything is going to be the same after what he did? I HATE HIM! so much... for tearing apart this family... i mean.. i know my mom was at fault too... for being so... over emotional... but she's a girl.. and she asked him for a second chance and that she would fix all that she had done wrong... that b*****d said no... after all the time she took him back... for all the lies he said and all the bills he made.. and all the debt that he put us in... she still took him back... but could he do the same for her? nope... because he is your average jackass... yup... excuse my french but im so... ugh...

i mean.. its not like he's the first man to walk out of my life... he's my step-dad... or was... my real dad didnt even want me? that b*****d chose drugs over me... i cant wait till i get to vegas... so i can look for him... staring him straight in the eyes and telling him.. " at least now you know what your daughter looks like." thats all i want to say to him...

maybe its me? i mean... it seems like im not supposed to have a dad... like im ment to be the daughter of a single parent... maybe im the one that separated them...

so many thoughts run through my head as i look up at the starry sky... the shadows cast upon the dewy grass below my feet. Are shapes of memories that i see, everytime the moon is cast...

probably makes no sence to you.. but i catch it... and i mean... im so wanting to be out of here already.. things will get better once i move to vegas... i wont have to pray that i fall asleep before the door opens so that i wont have to see him...

is it wrong to hate the man that raised you since you were five? for all he's done... im sure my sin is minor compared to his... in all honesty... i miss the days when wed go to the beach... dad would cast his pole out into the ocean... mom would grill lunch and me and trav would play in the sand... those were the days i dream about... the memories that haunt me... the life that any child should want...

but i guess as you get older and you start to understand a thing or two... this pleasantries in the world are not nearly as good as what you had thought them to be in the days of your childhood...

WoOT!!

ya heard!?
im moving to Vegas... yup.. the first or second week in July... My aunty is up there looking for a house.. and i Grad on June 1st.... then i gats a month to go to parties... and then... then im GONE!! off too vegas... home to the Original Kolohe Girl... haha

i remember waimea days when life was perfect...
Kauai High Days where the drama began and where it will all end...

Now i look forward to Planning my party...
saying goodbyes...
mom and dad and getting separated.. so dads staying here...
less drama for mom...
i have "a few" friends on the mainland.. so ill be alright in a new place.. lol... i mean.. it really cant be that bad.. im so excited.. i want to just GO already.. just hop on a plane and go...

but patients is a vertue... you need it... otherwize you go crazy...

my mom has lost 8 pounds in 7 days.. and she's making me worried...
my dad doesnt come home until like 3 in the morning... and so i dont really ever see him anymore... my brother.. well.. he's still the same brotherly pain in the buttocks.. but ya got to love him...

omg.. i still have to go apply for that masusing program in the Vegas Area... thats like the only thing that im nervous about....

but its all life...

RIP Great Gramma... you will always be here in my heart and in the memories that you left with me...

"Imagine the Unimaginable.... There i sit waiting..."

oOh chi BANG BANG!!

what is that from??
ive heard it somewhere and i just dont know where i heard it..
its a song..
but i dont know if its from a movie..
or who sang it..
but the durned thing is stuck in my head.. lol