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Those of you who were paying attention may have noticed me transform into Afro-Topside a couple months ago. Admittedly, I've been abscent from Gaia since then, and when I got back, my avatar was so in touch with its inner blackness that it had begun listening to 50-Cent. eek

Knowing I had to act quickly before the damage became irrepairable, I grabbed the first white-looking skin potion I could find at ST, and, without fully thinking things through, splashed it on my avi. I was not aware just how... pasty... the results would be. OMG, my avi needs a trip to the beach!

And so, for the time being, I give you... Albino-Topside! sweatdrop Or, given my last experiment, would that be Vitaligo-Topside?

I've been conducting random gene-splicing experiments on myself so as to create a more adaptable body. Last month, a few of you got to see the first results of my experiments - the lovely She-Topside (who, admittedly, is deeply missed - watching those sexy hips sway in the mirror every morning... It makes me all tingly just thinking about it!). While it was fun, around the end of Halloween madness, I began to miss my manhood, so I promptly returned to my normal self.

Recently, I acquired genetic material from oceanic mammals and various other sea creatures, and have begun experimenting quite heavily with my findings. I never did learn to swim, but I've always marveled at the ocean, and so thought of ways I might interact with it more readily. Hence, Aqua-Topside is born! Hopefully my new-found transformation lacks adverse side effects, and, should I decide to return to dry land, proves to be reversible.

We will continue these experiments as new material becomes affordable available. Of course, if you have anything you would like me to test for you, we are always happily accepting your generous donations.

A call to arms! Prepare yourselves, all you who have waited so long for that great and glorious day we might do battle! The time to prove your worth in the arena is nigh! I have seen it in zOMG! - great bustling activity about the arena, a harbinger of glorious PvP fury!

Sharpen your swords, shine your shields, and steel your minds and hearts. For when that day comes, we, the Kamikaze, shall reign supreme, and our enemies will fade like mist before us! The time comes soon! Make haste to get ready! scream

Indeed, it's been a while since my last progress report... I apologize to any who might actually be following these reports and seeking to aid in my ongoing quest for world otakunization.

So far, a great amount of progress seems to have been made! I've had the pleasure of attending SakuraCon for the last two years now, with the crowds flooding out into the Seattle streets both times. Several previously non-otaku friends have become fast addicts of a few personal favorites. And, on a personal note, I've weaved my way down through Snohomish county and am now living in Everett.

And the signifigance of Everett? It's a large industrial and military center, with a burgeoning fanbase that is practically starving for a true otaku experience. Yes there are manifold comic stores and other such establishments that sell anime. But the real otaku around here have to travel all the way down into King county just to go to a convention, let alone find a nice place to hang with other otaku on the regular.

And so, it occurs to me that such an establishment must be... established... here in the greater Snohomish county area. If it can take root in Everett, all the better. Thus, otakunization efforts can reach foreign businesspeople and the various Naval officers what roam our streets, and, well... You can imagine the rest.

Even as I seek to found such a veritable otaku oasis amid this vast desert of mediocrity, I shall try to be more diligent in bringing you up-to-the-minute progress reports. Please continue your own personal efforts on all fronts. Banzai! ninja

Those of you familiar with my MySpace page will remember the photo of the French Ninjas I had on my profile (until recently, when I changed to a pic of yours truly). That photo was taken about a year ago, on the "Day of the Ninja" (www.ninjaburger.com for more details - a great site!).

One year - and three days ago, to be exact. Yes, sadly, the Day of the Ninja has come and gone... But the Ninja madness isn't over yet!

Calling all Naruto fans, gamers, and collectors! This is your mad otaku scientist speaking! This Friday at 5:30 PST, at the Cardhaus in Lynnwood, the ninja known as Topside will be participating in a Genin-rank Naruto CCG tournament! Ninjas from all over Snohomish county will converge on this site for what promises to be a duel for the ages! So put on your hachigame and bring your best jutsu - and look out, because I'm definitely takin' this one home!

GOOOOOOOOOOO NINJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja

To think the mad otaku scientist has been a loyal citizen of Gaia for better than three years now! How the time doth fly! eek

In that time, we've had a lotta lotta fun, yes? We've seen Gaia grow into the prestigious fansite it is today. We've had our ups and downs... And of course, we've had plenty of mad scheming and stimulating social and spiritual commentary from yours truly.

This is the mad otaku scientist Topside, hoping for many more wonderful years with you all. Long live Gaia!

Hahahahahahahaha!!! They thought they could defeat me! Though forced onto a ramen budget, the mad otaku scientist has managed to maintain his grip on insanity and yet continues his quest for supremacy! Hahahahaha! No one can stop me! scream

My influence now stretches from the frozen wastes of Bellingham to the concrete canyons of Bellevue. Soon, very soon, I shall have the entire Puget Sound in my grasp... and not long thereafter, THE WORLD! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! scream

Omigosh! The Kamikaze grows at a nigh-exponential rate! scream

Soon... Very soon now, our names will be legendary throughout Gaia! Our enemies will tremble with fear at the mention of our names!

Furthermore, weapons are now available! whee I can't wait to find a cool-lookin' sword for my avatar! Hahahahahahahaha!!! My dreams of world otakunization are vry near to becoming a reality!

How could I have forgotten!? SakuraCon! With such a large gathering of otaku, if everyone brought a friend, we could well be on our way to otakunizing the entire state of Washington! The rest of the world would soon follow!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I AM a genius! scream