• Ch 1: The Pepper Moth

    It was a cool summer morning as the sun slowly made its presents known to the world below. The echo of car engines mixed with the chatter of birds and people blended smoothly together forming a sensational vibe felt by all walks of life, kind of like that extra pep in your step so you can start the morning off right. But even the smooth groove couldn’t effect his mood. He was a boy who constantly wore a mask to hide himself from the world around him. But in reality, their was no real need for it, For he was invisible to them already. The mask was more like a shield designed to hide his grief and shame form the ones closes to him (although there wasn’t a real necessity for that either since he always felt alone, even around his family. He was the self proclaimed grey sheep. He wasn‘t necessarily shunned by the people around him, yet he didn‘t feel like he fit in with them hither.) Yet no matter how he tried to hide it, even a blind man could tell that he was just another leaf blowing in the wind, waiting to rest eternally. So after a few years, he finally realized he was slowing sinking into a metaphorical sea of depression. Instead of fighting it, he welcomed the darkness into his heart, nick naming himself “That man” , or T-Man for short since he felt like just another speck on the planet earth with no real sense of purpose or being in this world. Part of him resented what he allowed himself to become, but he felt it was to late to change anything now, might as well roll with the punches until the clock strikes 00. It can be said that the bitter feeling in the depths of his soul eventually lead to his heart freezing over, eclipsing the rays of joy and happiness to give way to a decade of what seemed like a never ending winter in his body. He titled this “The Great depression” .This of course had an affect on his outward appearance, making that layer of ice around his hart that much thicker to the point that no one could ever hope to penetrate it…. Well, till recently of course. For you see, a kind word a day will keep the devil at bay. And that’s exactly what he started receiving from a local girl around his age. Now they have never seen each other in person, but if you were to peek in on one of their conversations. You’d swear that they’ve known each other since preschool. They could literally talk about anything. From what’s on TV, to personal issues with everyday living. Within a month, she was able to turn the once silent, timid boy into…well, into a less timid, but still silent boy. The catch was, that they never verbally spoke to one another. They would only communicate threw online chatting, which made both of them fill a little more comfortable with each other. Yet their was one thing one their minds, one subject they both would always avoid. “Do you think I’ll ever be able to met u in real life?” This thought danced around his head every night. Would she be just as nice in person as she is online? Or will she take one look and make a quick break for the nearest exit…. It should go without saying that he had a very low self esteem about himself. In his mind, he knew he wasn’t some rich Hollywood playboy or some thuggish rug rat pretending to be bigger than god himself. So why should he pretend to be something that he wasn’t? And if material things is all a girl is interested in you for then is she really worth being with in the first place? Questions like these and a millions of others would dance in and out of his head threw out each day of his young life. But no matter how far his brain would venture, it was never to far away from the girl who has slowly managed to warm his soul, Lisa Lovely. Or as her Screen Name has her, Luna16. In fact, the very thought of her almost caused him to miss the next bus out to 12th and market again. Luckily, he was able to stick most of his arm threw the door before it closed completely on him. “Hurry up kid, I don’t got all day ya know.” The bus driver yelled. He managed to get his entire body on board, including his backpack with the broken zipper, and pay for his fair. The only problem he now had to deal with was the lack of seats available. The only set in sight was near a lady with long yet short, brown hair. But judging by the grim look he received from her and the fact that she placed her purse in the chair as he approached, it became clear that she didn’t want him near her. So to avoid any unnecessary confrontations, he continued his decent toward the rear end of the bus. Just like up front, all the seats were filled with two passengers or a stubborn individual. He was left with no other alternative but to find a secure place to stand in the center of the bus. He move towards the middle of the bus and held on to the railing as best he could. After three or four stops, the bus became less packed allowing him a perfect section by the window close up front. He decided to wait till the next stop to claim it since the bus driver was swerving and hitting every bump in the road as if he meant to run someone down. If this was a car chase, the other car must be winning. As the raggedy bus came to a screeching halt, T-Man caught his backpack form flying into someone’s face, clinched the backpack by the handle and let the momentum of the bus carry him the rest of the way. At the speed in which the bus had carried him his whole body passed the seat and nearly collided into the passengers coming on. He soon found himself staring into the eyes of an alluring young lady. Naturally she was a bit startled by him, but for some reason neither of them blinked as they gazed into each others eyes. It wasn’t a romantic or suggestive look, but more like an “….are you ok?” Kind of stare. Realizing his eyes were burning a whole into her he looked down and backed away. He noticed her moving forward, but turned around to avoid making the same embarrassing mistake twice. Unfortunately for him, fate had other plans. Trying to breeze by the crowd which had formed, a guy wearing all black forced his way into the seat T-Man willingly let slip away. Another passenger had already filled up the next two available seats leavening T-Man once again stranded and forced to stand. Only this time, he had company. The girl he previously encountered was also forced to stand. Apparently the guy in black hand moved her out of the way just to avoid standing himself. He sat their stretched out chewing on a flavorless toothpick with the most cocky attitude one could have. Honestly that didn’t surprise T-Man much. Around these parts, he’s seen far worse happen, on and off the bus. The thing that honestly surprised him wasn’t the guys nasty attitude towards the girl, but how the girl herself reacted towards it. He expected her to cause a huge fuss or cuss him out, which would have led to both of them getting kicked off. But instead of making a scene, she simply turned the other cheek, smiled, and moved directly opposite of were T-Man was standing. She clinged on to the railing and looked out the window as calmly as a cat leaping from a stoop. He tried not to panic that she was right beside him, directly parallel to where he was, in direct proportion and everything. But obviously, on the inside he was loosing his cool. He was afraid to even look in her direction, for fear that she would be doing the exact same. He hated making direct eye contact with anybody, especially for more than a second. He always felt weird afterwards, as though the person was looking into his soul and realizing what a dried up sack of raisins he was (as I mentioned before, he loved to put himself down at any given moment. Especially moments like these). So he stood their, limiting his eye sight to only seeing straight or towards his right, out the window, avoiding the left side completely. No matter the trick, he could see her still, from the corner of his eyes. She stood boldly, yet relaxed in her own little corner. Her hair wasn’t very fancy nor did it glow. It was basically your everyday pony tail which was long enough to hang loosely over her right shoulder. And as for her uniquely purple eyes, they were currently staring holes into his mind. He knew she was looking at him, but he continued to stare off into the distance. Every moment or so, he would get creative and attempt to look her way without her noticing. But at every attempt he made, she would just so happen to glace at him first, which cause him to either look down or quickly turn away. She giggled a bit at the sight of this, but said noting about it. In her mind, she thought it was rather cute. Another stop came, and a few more seats were left to the cold air circulating from within the bus. Calmly the girl took the nearest seat available, but left enough room for someone else to sit if they chose to do so. Normally, most bus passengers tend to keep to themselves unless they‘re apart of a conversation with another passenger, or simply need to ask a question pertaining to were something’s located. But this girl was a little more bolder than most. She looked up at T-man with a warm smile and said. “You know you don‘t have to stand anymore, there’s room on the bus now so you can sit down if you want.” T-Man, a boy who’s become very used to being ignored and overlooked, didn’t realize she was talking to her till the old lady tugged on his arm and pointed in the direction of the gentle soul. “Oh, I’m fine. Thank you.” He responded, barely looking up at her. “Are your sure? That bag does look rather heavy on your shoulders.” “I can manage it.” he said. Still avoiding direct eye contact. She didn’t understand it, but decided to leave it alone. But Fate had other plans for them. As the bus made one grand sharp turn, all the weight on the bus shifted towards the left. And at that very moment, T-Man decided to look at his watch to see how much more time he had left. Its very obvious what happens next right? As the bus completed the turn, so did T-Man, falling directly beside the very startled young lady, practically in her lap to be precise. His back pack, and almost everything in it spilled onto the floor. He felt like a fool, but surprising , out of all the snickering and laughter, she seemed to be the only one concerned about his well being. A warm smile appeared on her face. “I guess you decided to sit with me after all.“ She laughed a bit, but stopped herself so as not to offend him. “Are you alright?” the girl asked as she helped him pick up his belongings. The dust from the floor dirtied up the bag a bit, along with some of the papers that spilled out, but other than that, no real harm was done….unless you take in account his pride that is. As She gathered more and more of his belongings, a clear picture began to form in front of her. “So you do art and poetry huh? Very interesting.” She looked up at him but didn’t receive the reaction she’d hoped for. “ I’m sorry if I insulted you, I didn’t mean to…” “You’re fine. Its cool.” He responded. T-Man was always a man of very few words. She sat back down with him, handing over the papers of poetry and art in her hands. “You can look if you want to. I don‘t mind.” Smiling brightly, she did just that. Her smile quickly turned to aw as she looked at page after page of his work. She commented on a lot of his art work, asking how did he come up with the idea behind them, and saying that they should be showcased someplace fancy like a museum. “They’re not that good yet…” “Yes they are!” She exclaimed. Her eyes widen when she said it, then noticing she might have over reacted, she continued in a more softer tone of voice. “Seriously, I’m being honest. You’re a very talented artist.” He smiled. Not because of her nice words exactly, but because of the irony. He knew he wasn’t that open of a person. He liked his own space, and only asked to be left alone in his world of solitude. “So what’s you’re name? do live close around here? What school do you go to?” “What’s with all these questions? Is she really that interested in me?” Before he could respond to either one, their was an odd feeling on the right side of his pants. “Oh, sorry. Its my phone” as she dug it out of her pocket to greet the person on the other line, he noticed exactly how close they we to each other. Her thigh was pressed on his, which spurred a tingling feeling threw out his body. Her sent was drowning his nostrils as he laid eyes on her for what seemed like the first time. Her curvy lips…doll like eyes,…long black hair…he stopped his self. He didn’t want to go that route. “No point in fantasizing about a girl you’ll never met again in your life T.” he told himself “Just sit there like a good little boy and keep your hormones in check.” and that’s exactly what he did, or rather tried to. He couldn’t help but over hear her conversation, but tried not to. The person on the other end was a girl, a friend most likely. He wonder if she would bring him up. Why should she? She just met you 5 minutes ago, get over yourself T. the conversation was your basic teen convo. They rambled over what each was doing at the moment ( she forgot to mention him, but did say she was reading some lovely poetry ), what each had planed to do later, and of course joking with each other over an inside joke, which was followed by that annoying giggle sound. But sadly the conversation didn’t last that long. “huh? Ok then, I’ll call you later then. Alright bye .” she made a kissing noise. “sorry about that,” she began to laugh randomly “I forgot what I wanted to ask you. It was something good, I know it. Darn! I hate when I do that.” “Its alright” he said in a mellow tone. Her smile slowly disappeared as she looked at her watch. “Oh great I’m going to be late at this rate.” She looked out the window only to have a look of bewilderment appear on her face. “Wait, were am I?….OH CRAP!” in a panic, she grabbed her belongings and nearly stuffed T-man’s poetry along with her, but realized them in her hand and returned them. “Sorry, Sorry. SO sorry, it was nice talking to you.” Without waiting for a response, she hoped of the buss, and ran down the street. Speechless and bewildered, T sat their and reflected on what just took place their. “Forget about it,“ He said to himself. “She was just being nice to you out of pity. Do you realize how stupid you must have looked? Oh and way to play it cool,, not even making eye contact with her half the time. She probably thought you were staring at her chest or something you perv…. But , what if she…na! no way! She’s way out of your league anyways. What makes you think a girl like that would ever lower her standers for a kid like you?” He decided to ignore the little voice in his head this time around. That same voice of doubt always arose to bring him even lower than he already was. He knew it was just his true self he was battling, but he was in too good of a mood to let it win today. A girl actually sat down and talked with him. She wasn’t forced to. She could have just let him stand their if she really wanted to. She didn’t even have to help him pick up his things. In fact she could have ignored him completely…but she didn’t. the same three letters appeared in his mind over and over again. Why? Why was she so nice to me? Why did she help me with my junk? Why did she smile at me? Looking out the window he saw his stop coming up. Grabbing all of his materials he got up to make his way towards the door when the old lady sitting on the other side of the bus stopped him. “You left something dear.” she said, pointing towards the seat. He knew what ever it was, it didn’t belong to him, but decided to at least pick it up so he could give it to the driver. Although he doubted if that would do any good at all. He stared blankly at the pink phone in his hand then instantly figured that it belonged to the girl who he recently communicated with. Thanking the old lady for pointing it out to him, he left the bus and kept asking himself now what?