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Homophobia is as American as apple pie, playing catch, and lynchings. Our people are good god-fearing folk, minding their Bible and beating them homosexuals straight. Hell, if those pansy devil worshiping liberals weren’t out to stop us we’d make gay bashing our next national pastime. The real Americans in this country know what’s right, what those commies and gays don’t; gay marriage is just plain wrong.
Our Christian Nation
The United States of America was founded on principles of Christianity. In our courthouses and public buildings we have the Ten Commandments carved in marble and our pledge proclaims us to be a nation under God. Our country was founded on Christianity and as seventy percent of our citizens are Christian, is a Christian Nation. The Bible clearly states that homosexuality is an abomination to God. God even tells us to kill them in Leviticus; obviously Jesus really doesn’t like everybody. Homosexuality is an unnatural sin manufactured by the devil to get us to elect liberals into office. God votes no on gay marriage and the American people are his representatives.
Politics
If our founding fathers thought that the gays should have the right to marry they would have said so when writing the Declaration of the Constitution. They haven’t left any important information out yet and after a few hundred years we owe them the benefit of the doubt. Ben Franklin and his colleagues were intelligent men and knew what we needed and what we didn’t. Ever heard of the right to bare weed whackers? How about the banning of racial segregation or voting rights for women? Of course not, because we do not need such things to function as a healthy, Christian society.
President Bush could talk to God, where as our new president only converses with Satan. God told Bush right in those big monkey ears of his that he mustn’t allow such a terrible act against humanity like same-sex marriage to occur. Bush didn’t let it happen and we weren’t invaded by aliens. God’s Happy, we’re happy.
The People
Our nation has never taken kindly to the gays. For years we have suppressed children expressing homosexuality and beating gays back to the way God meant them to be. It is even an American tradition to use “gay” as a put down: queer, f**, homo and “that’s so gay.” As a nation we are closed off to homosexuality, let alone letting these weirdoes don dresses and get married.
Good Americans don’t like things out of the ordinary. Would you like it if you saw a pig mowing the lawn? How about a tarantula? Seeing two homosexuals together in the church would be no different. Do you want to give grandma a heart attack?
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Marriage as defined by the church, “The union of a man and a woman,” and as defined by the state, “The union of a man and a woman.” Who defines it as “The Union of two people who love each other?” Gays and heathens. Same-sex marriage is not in line with true American values and insults our homophobic nature.
- by Perpetual Odyssey |
- Non Fiction
- | Submitted on 12/31/2009 |
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![](https://graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/arena-images/ic_paper_corner_32x32.gif)
- Title: The American's Natural Foe
- Artist: Perpetual Odyssey
- Description: This is satire!
- Date: 12/31/2009
- Tags: marriage americans homophobia satire gays
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Comments (3 Comments)
- Bellazara - 04/19/2010
- and personally I think it's hilarious. However, it's so potentially offensive, it only gets 3 stars.
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- Bellazara - 04/19/2010
- Weinersaurusrex! It's SATIRE!!!!!!!!!! Those AREN'T really her views, she's "making fun" of the people who do think that way!
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- BAWKSEE - 03/14/2010
- wow. im blown away. are these really your veiws..? being gay isnt wrong. being a judgmental, homophobic a*****e is. christian nation? im sure as hell not a christian. and whats this about obama conversing with satan? really? and besides the whole God telling people to kill gays in Leviticus sounds a tad cultish and mentally impaired to me. lay off gay people..i may not be gay but im going to defend them because they have just as many rights as me or any undeserving gay bashing homophobe...
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