Fallen

• Artist: zackwyld234
• Description: This is a poem that I wrote during the school year.Please comment.But on another note I am writting a novel and I've posted a couple of videos of me reading chapters into a mic. on you tube.You can watch these videos on my channel which is this:www.youtube.com/awsomeo70.
• Date: 07/15/2008
• Tags: fallen zackwyld234 angel isolation

Fallen

A fallen angel upon the stars,
He can be seen from afar.
He sits there and waits alone,
Waits to be found.
He used to travel with the crowd,
But now he is alone.
The tears running down his face,
He just sits there in this place.
Lost within his own solitude,
Lost within his own isolation.
Sitting forgotten, sitting alone,
He just wants to go home.

Comments

[-x- Fridge -x-]

She wasn't saying it has to rhyme. She's saying, when two lines right next to each other rhyme, and then the next two don't, it makes it extremely awkward to read.
You either need to completely nix the rhymes or make every two lines rhyme. On that note, I do like the subject behind the poem. 3/5

[hitmankiller255]

you could've kept going.. but whatever, i like it, & yes, POETRY DOES NOT HAVE TO RHYME - in reference to the first girl that commented. 5 outta 5

[kayleepete]

this seems incomplete...like, there should have been more to it, or you could've kept going.. but whatever, i like it, & yes, POETRY DOES NOT HAVE TO RHYME - in reference to the first girl that commented. 5 outta 5.

[zackwyld234]

poetry doesn't have to ryme just as long as it expresses what you feel

[Miss Liza]

The rhyming pattern (or lack of) makes this difficult to read, but it's a good idea you're working with. Try an abab pattern and you might find it works better.