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uh. had a bad day at school......
and just so you know, randi, it wasn't you. i really did have a bad social studies.
because laura won't even sit next to me anymore. she barely talks and when she does, it's just to tell me i did something wrong.
well, guess what? i'm sorry that i'm busy. that i'm pessimistic and take naps and do all my homework at eleven so i don't have time to read. i'm sorry that you haven't gone to my locker yet and asked for the books back. i'm sorry that i'm not good enough for you. i'm sorry that you care more about books and your future than your friends. i'm so ******** sorry. so i'll just stay out of your life. won't walk with you. won't sit next to you. won't even disgrace you by letting you show up on my radar. you'll just be another face in teh school. another person who doesn't deserve to be burdened with someone like me, alright?
i mean, i'm so ******** stupid. hehe. didn't even see it coming. i mean, there must have been a reason you called me a friend, but never commented on my profile. why you'd rather talk to others than me. i guess i'm just clueless like that. you're not even going to read this, anyway. not unless someone tells you. but i'll give your books back tomorrow, even if you don't ask. and then you can finally forget about me and put this nightmare behind you.

*sigh* so yeah............ i might be a little spacy for the next few days. just ignore me, and try to not let it get on your nerves. i just feel so worthless sometimes...
and now i'm taking it all out on some testosterone induced football jock. littledarknite or camaro or something. but i don't get what his deal is. sam and nicki go to brunswick, and i really like them (on my soccer team), so i don't feel like insulting brunswick. the school rivalry is so ******** stupid.

yes........... i need to stop with all these depressing thoughts. they've been eating away at me all day. i don't even know what we did in s.s. today. we just got on computers. i was in the back by myself, so i just played 'sweet revenge' on the mcr website the whole 50 minutes. i'm getting better. i can get up to the third level in the cathedral for the woman. pretty good, if i do say so myself. there's three ghosts to avoid and the dude who shot the guy and lady shooting at you. i haven't gotten past that. it's really hard. and i've been practicing all week.
no homework due tomorrow. well, s.s. poster was due today, but i didn't finish it, and i don't have it tomorrow, so i'll do it tomorrow night.
i suppose that's it. i need to write and do some meditating. reading on the swing helps, too. i really like that, and don't mind the sun if i'm shaded under it. enough light, a little breeze. it feels nice.
i think all of you will read this tomorrow. so.............yeah.