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Hm. I'm kind of hating life right now...
First of all, Maryellen confused me. In science we somehow got on the subject of suicide (don't ask me, don't know how) and Katie was all, "Eh. I don't care. My parents are sooooooooo mean." So I said despite my better judgement, "I'd probably never do it. I couldn't leave my friends behind to deal with the aftermath." So then Maryellen starts saying that even if your parents make you live in a box, don't feed you, don't cloth you, and beat you, they still HAD you.
But I've met tons of kids that would have been better off never being born. Or at least shown enough mercy from their horrible parents to be given up for adoption when they were born. Just because they gave birth to you doesn't automatically mean they wanted a kid. Those people don't deserve them.
Then in AST, she was doing German homework. I told her it was an ugly language. That I despised it because of all the 'ich's and 'haies'es. It isn't smooth. Terribly ugly. So she just kind of said offhandedly, "Hm. I thought that since you hated the world, you would have liked an ugly language."
That kind of stung. And she didn't say that because she was trying to think of a good comeback. She really meant it.
She just doesn't get it. I don't hate the world, but I have an almost inhuman understanding of it. Not mutant or whatever. Just that sometimes when I have conversations with myself in my head, I can say what no human ever would want to speak out loud. Maybe I just toss out my humanity then?
I don't hate it. I'm pessimistic at times. Neutral and passive at others. Even though I throw the word around, there's not a whole ton of a lot that I truely hate.
I hate abusive parents.
I hate that kids are stuck with abusive parents. That they can't fight back.
I hate jabs and bullying with words. They hurt as ******** much as physical wounds no matter what the rhyme says. People have gone crazy being teased their whole lives.
I hate ignorance, because I haven't had a lot lately and it really is bliss.
I hate terrorists and sex offenders and murderers. There's enough death in the world. Everyone's going to die. Why speed it up for innocents?
I hate the fact that justice is sometimes only a facade. That a couple years ago, teenagers that commited murder couldn't go to adult jail. They went to juvie and then got let go at eighteen. ******** that. You kill for fun, there's no doubt that you didn't do it, you get the chair. No question. Do the crime, do the ******** time. They're releasing murderers and ******** bastards back into the public. The stats agree: someone commits muder and gets out of jail, they're more likely to kill again. They let sex offenders move into houses down the street from elementary schools.
I don't hate the whole world.
I just hate the horrible people on it.
Well, nobody's going to post now that I've made my rant. Too bad these words are usually never put into voice. More people need to open their closed eyes. Need to listen. Need to make a difference. Or I'll go crazy.
So............Jordan, make sure you put some directions somewhere. I might have to call you, just in case. Evidently, my dad is hesitant because he's never met you or your parents. But I went to Val's house two times without them meeting her parents. And I've known you for months. Didn't you start sitting with us before Gaia? Because I got signed on at New Years, and I think I knew your face before then. So five months? Five months of sitting together. How come that doesn't count for anything?
Well, I know he's just worried. But he worries too much. He worries about everything. He almost didn't let me go to Festival this year because I wanted to go without mum. He instantly shot down the Freedom Tour idea. I just want him to lighten up. What's going to happen when I go off to college?
Saw Cam two times today. Both times he was bouncing around energetically. Is he always like that, or just high on cafinated soda?
Made a tiny bit of headway on Book. Did anyone go on to campus and read my stories or not? Because no one's said an absolute word...... What, am I a horrible writer? Is it so terribly written that you forgot how to speak? Do I say offensive stuff? A lil' C+C would be nice. Sheesh. stare
Dad just called from BIW, saying the mum just changed my appointment. Now my eye thing is at ten instead of eight. Good. Means I can sleep in an hour or so more before being picked up. I think he's going to let me go from his attitude on the phone. All of that be-nice-to-me-or-I-won't-drive-ya talk. Woo.
Oh yeah. Thanks a ton, Janelle. You can't come till five? What am I supposed to do with a sugar-high Cam for two hours until you get there?
Wow. Today's entry is looooooooooooooooong.
Hey, like my siggy? Found it. Loved it.