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~Chapter Four of Junior High Love Story!!~




12:45 PM Wednesday February 12th
I squeezed the cracked plastic heart until I thought it would burst. I held it to my heart and I fell to the ground weeping. No matter how many tears I wept, nothing was changed. Tanner still hated me, our friendship was shattered, and I was heart-broken.
I hung my head and dragged my feet to Science where Mr. Povanier was already teaching a lesson. Usually, he would say that I was late and that I had to write an essay or something but what came out was different.
“Jamie, why don’t you go outside with Tanner? Sort things out with him…”

I felt numb. The last thing I wanted to do right now was talk to him, but I slowly nodded my head. "Be the stronger person," my mom always told me. I stood but left my things where they were.

Mr. P. told me that Tanner went to the courtyard so I dragged my feet all the way there just trying to stall some time. When he finally came into view, he was sitting on the planter, head in his heads. My heart screamed. I felt awful.

"Tanner..." I began softly.

He lifted his head, then turned away. "Go away," he muttered, standing up. "I don't want to talk to you ever again." He started to walk away.

"Wait!" I cried desperately. I ran after him and grabbed his shoulder. "Please...listen to me," I said shakily. "I'm sorry I slapped you. I wasn't thinking..."

He turned to face me, that sad, cloudy look still lingering.

"But I had a reason," I continued. "I couldn't take it anymore. There was this ongoing conflict between you and Dane, and I channeled my frustration about it the wrong way...I realize that you hate me, but..."

Tanner interrupted. "But what Jamie? But you want to make it better?" he said disgustedly. "But you want me to forgive you? Listen to me Jamie!" He was almost shouting now. It scared me and I started to back away. Instead, Tanner grabbed me by the shoulders and started shaking me.

"I have had to put up with Dane for ALL MY LIFE! Watching him take away friends and girls...Dane always won. I just wanted another shot. And when you came along, I tried to protect you...but you were sucked in, just like everyone else." He let me go.

This side of Tanner was a frightening one. It seemed to take control of him and turn him into something else. But the effect seemed to die with his last words.

He looked at me, tears beginning their path down his face. "I just wanted a shot, Jamie," he whispered, backing away. "Dane took that away, too. I just wanted you to know that." He turned and walked slowly, sadly, regretfully, away.

Those words forced me to make a decision. Dane or Tanner, Jamie, they screamed at me. Who's it going to be?

Tanner had almost completely walked out of sight when I made my decision. I started off walking slowly. Then faster, faster, faster, until I was sprinting toward Tanner. I grabbed him by the arm, whirled him around, and made him look at me. He looked sad, but shocked, and slightly angry, it seemed. I only saw his expression for a split second before I pushed my mouth against his.

His lips were soft and slightly salty from the tears. I wrapped my arms around his neck and closed my eyes. He put his arms around my waist and squeezed. I loved it.

Whether it was hours or minutes, I didn't know, but suddenly the world seemed flooded with light. It was all so clear now. I loved Tanner, not Dane, and would go to the prom with Tanner. My mind was made up. There was only one problem. How would I tell Dane?