Maybe today someone just s**t in my cereal a little too much. Maybe the vitamins I started taking actually allowed my brain to function beyond the limbic system. Whatever happened, I'm awake, and I'm pissed.
I really just want to become excessively violent. It's a terrible feeling. To have the methaphorical fog (of anemia) lifted from your eyes. Everything looks bleaker than when I wasn't producing red blood cells.
1. We're so ******** up. You know why we don't do anything about it? We scared of autonomy. No one wants to take responsibility for their owns actions, so we hide behind a side. The wrong and the more wrong, constantly throwing blame, fire, and brimstone, at each side. It really sucks. Humanity refuses to dig through the muck of life. We're perfectly content living scared, annoyed, humiliated, and if we can't just be content with that, someone decides they need to jack us up or force us back into our holes by ignoring us.
It's really getting under my skin. I'm totally convinced that people have forgotten what they're fighting for, so they just keep fighting because it's a comfort mechanism or they refused to question someone. Hell, most countries, those who question are shot. One nice thing about that states is that I can be a dissenter all I damned well please and the odds of snipers are relatively slim.
Now, what can we do? Are there options? Are we just screwed? I prefer to think we're all screwed, and our respective deities will sort out the bodies after we're all done pillaging. The best we can do is make life more manageable. You'll never stop the Sunnis and the Shittes. You'll never stop Hamas. The US will be the most hated country for as long as it stands. Your God will never talk to me, and my God prefers to take messages. I hate feeling like I have no control. I hate feeling like big men with guns can tell me when to take it in the a** because they have money and therefore; they have the power.
I guess the world is where is stand today because people try. I want to be one of those people who try. If that's all it takes, is for someone to try, then I refuse to sit down. I'm trying. Coping with the fear of losing everything is the biggest setback to giving a damn.
A summary, for those who can't read, or because they really don't need to wade through my nonsense: Peace is an open ended question. There are lots of nice ideas, good sounding answers, but there are no solutions.
2. Oh, and there are different versions of "punk" rock. Teenage (and there after) angst is not punk rock. That's bullshit. I'm tired of being told Anti-Flag is punk. That's like saying Green Day is punk. Dead Kennedys and Bad Religion are punk bands.
3. Okay, this could just be me being emo, but WTF? I can't get a second look with most people. You'd think I had some atrocious body odor or I was a 900 pounds woman with exposed genitals. Dear sweet Jesus. Ce la vie. See you all on the other side.
Man, I sound angsty tonight. Imagine it in the voice of Donnie Darko. It's alot funnier that way. wink
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Written Vicodin
If words were as refreshing as dew in the morning,
If words could erase the pain,
If words were as calming as hot tea and weed,
I'd be God.
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