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The Suicide victim stared at the cup on the table thinking of his life. “The glass is half empty.”
The scientist wagged a finger at him. “You’re mistaken, the glass is half full.” He pointed out.
The bum laughed. “The glass is to times bigger then it needs to be.”
That makes things clear as glass on that situation.

Here are some weird laws.

In Alabama…
An old ordinance forbids parking for over two hours unless a horse is tied to the car.
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business
An exception to the above law is that light bulbs may be sold
It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
It is illegal to display an unclothed mannequin in a store window.
A man is not allowed to run naked around with a shaved chest.
It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo.

In Florida…
It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.
The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages
Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

In Indiana…
Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
The value of Pi is 3.

In Kentucy….
Throwing eggs at a public speaker could result in up to one year in prison.
One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.

I don’t want to copy and paste anymore so that’s it for now.