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Is it enough to be sad and confused and angery at the same time? Or does the world have to keep me tortured as it has done for many years...
Am I so worthless...that I must be lonely in the world....
or am I just a puppet that has been thrown out and found by a lonely child?
I can't seem to find happiness...no matter what I do or try...
I just seem to end up more misrable then before and more hurt and more exposed to the hate...
sometimes...when i feel like crying I hold it back as crying is a sign of weakness for me and I don't want the hurt to know I'm weak...
Hate attacks me every waking moment of my tortured life...and I just wish I could stop it...but its too strong..
the feeling has built up for too long and now it flows over the brim of the cup...spilling my heart, my soul all over the me...
I ignore it as best i can and pull away from others who i fear will bring me more dispare...
I cannot let them in even though they want to bring me happiness...I am wary of those who befriend me...for they are the ones who make me smile...
I can't help it...but i don't want to smile...life is just too hard...
I just want it to all go away...or drown in my own tears...