Am..I really ignoring all those who do care? No I am pushing them away and I finally figured out why. I have this disorder, no I am not blaming it on the disorder, but it is called an Attachment Disorder, I attach to someone, but then I push them away.
What some of you don't realize, is that I am childish. I don't think I can get on with life without someone there to help guide me. I can't make very good decisions but it is my life. I know I need help with some stuff but everything I have done so far, I don't really regret. I regret being the way I am, being myself and so I lost my friends. They all say I have to change...but I like being myself, I don't want to change for anyone. Am I really so bad a person, that I have to change my ways or I will like, never be able to get on with life? Only a select few like how I am, Chad obviously and some people who are my friends from Band. Maybe I do have to change. I don't know. Life is so confusing. I can't get anything straight. And, like my mind works, it sounds like a lot of you are against me. Just, hoping I will mess up again so you can criticize me. Just, there to shoot me down. I don't think I will ever get stronger. I don't even have good people skills! All I can do is be myself, but that is bad. I can't be myself because it makes people hate me....
 moon_neko_23 · Sat Aug 04, 2007 @ 02:24pm · 2 Comments |
