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Hello world. This is my thanks. I don't quite know what for. Maybe for getting me this far, for letting me float until now. But now I am sinking. I want to run again, but I can't. It would hurt the wone I love most. So I will keep trying. What am I trying for though? I don't even know. It's like stading in the middle of a storm, right at the eye. Everything is spinning all around me but i'm just standing still. I don't know what to do know. I can't seem to find my way out of the storm. I don't have a routine to hold on to, and though I try to hold on to my love, it is like we are spinning in oposite directions. I don't she'll get to see this. She won't anytime soon, that is for sure. But that doesn't seem to matter. I'm just writing, or typing to be correct. I can't seem to find someplace for me to belong. I guess I should just fade....but I can't do that. She won't let me. I need to find me. I'm spinning yet standing still, what am I to do!!!!!!! It is for the best that I don't fade. But it doesn't matter now. I'm just standing still while everything rushes by. I need to find solid ground, need to get out of this storm........I just don't know how.