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As for my gold and the items I obtained: A lot of people helped me, but I helped myself out a lot too. In the beginning I asked, a lot. I never begged but I made the implication.

Over last spring, I put a halt to that entirely. Actually, last Christmas was when it stopped. I got Christmas gifts, unexpectedly, which I'm sorry, I will never accept again. I have such a huge thing now, what's the point in accepting when dozens more need it? I just like the fact I'm in people's thoughts. My gaiaversary? Nothing. My birthday? Pie! You sneak! xd And someone else I forgot. sweatdrop I'm so sorry to whom gave me the 500 gold! I lost the trade box for it. crying Thank you. Did I ask for anything? Yes. Art from Fu, which I would've paid handsomely for, since she's good, but no. talk2hand She's too sweet.

All others I have won via contests and just people going, "Here, have some gold." Out of the blue! I put my quests in for me. I know how to earn gold. I just never can remember what I'm questing for, how much I do need to quest for, and all the items for the outfits. I am that, a regular quester. Who isn't? I do not ask people for gold. So when I put it in my sig or journal, that's not asking for it. That's for me, period. It's easy to keep track of.

Ella was the last person who I asked. She said nothing and I said nothing on it. She gave because she understood. She didn't want anything back from me, nothing. Not my loyalty, not my following her about, not my gratitude, nothing.

It was then that I felt such admiration towards her, I would follow her anywhere. It wasn't because she had helped me. It was because she gave without a meaning behind it. She is a righteous person, the good kind. I won't have people smut her name, I WON'T! After that, I never told her or anyone how much I gave. I would donate to random people, ask them to keep quiet. Anniversaries, birthdays, people that seemed ready to chuck it all away. I asked nothing for them. They thanked me, I asked them not as if it was there's, something they deserved to begin with. And it is. I had one request for them not to speak about it. And the whole pics or it didn't happen? Wow. Who cares on proof. Can't trust anyone, can you? Wouldn't blame those that ask for that. Probably been backstabbed enough to ask for such things. Not a people person, eh.

Now should it matter that I was called a beggar because I simply know better? Yes. To me, that's demeaning my character and who I am. Nobody will place such filth on my name, I won't allow it. It's funny that the people who accused me of begging, I have seen ask others to "help" on a regular basis. That's still begging people, no matter how you word it. Especially if you do it on other accounts and are caught, but deny it still. I let that slide because what do I care of you? I have no care what happens to you, so demeaning you in front of other people makes no difference to me. I am human, I will say awful things about those I don't like. Though they be awful, know they will always be truthful. It's funny that those that call me a liar have given me proof they lie. I have said things that I forget to talk about again. I mention things then contradict myself later. Why? Because I'm human and after a while, I didn't want to tell anyone anything to user against me. So when pushed in a corner, I made something up, something that wouldn't matter if I told the truth about or not. I did that once. Some things of mine didn't pan out, I didn't speak about it again, and I frankly don't want to talk about it.

Truths:
I am married.
I do have a condition where I find it hard to... make love to my husband. It's painful for me.
I took medicine for it, condition lessened, but only slightly.
The doctors are the ones diagnosing me. So if my diagnose changes it's because I'm not once gotten the same doctor. They're the hypochondriacs, I couldn't care less.
My husband is in the military.
I probably won't be able to have children (my mother was told it and I didn't pop out of a stork's mouth).
I have a hypothyroid.
I'm insecure, but I'm not.
I'm mature.
I'm faithful, endearing, and I always protect those that are in the right, even if it goes against my friends.
I am brutally honest. I will tell you something you won't want to hear, get used to it. Nobody needs the tooth decay of being told sweet things of what they want to hear.
There are bunch of other things.

You want to know what happened with Divya? The truth behind everything? I hated how she kept dissing my husband. I don't allow anyone to do that, not even him. She did it while we were dating, engaged, and married. I screamed at her at my wedding and I regretted ever inviting her because all she wanted was the bouquet and then to rush out of my ******** wedding. She kept asking me when it was going to come, cause she had to leave. ON MY ******** WEDDING! Learn this and learn it well. Never test the temper of a bride who's having a miserable ******** time at her own wedding. My friends didn't like her because she irritated them. She said rude things to them, except Jeff. She was nice to Jeff, sort of. So if you hate me because of what I did, then know my side. talk2hand I had every right to call off a friendship when the other wasn't acting like a friend. I was always there for her. I was literally there when she needed a shoulder to cry on. When I needed one, where were people? ******** if I know.

And Divya, if you do read this, ******** no I don't hate you. I will always care about you, but man, do you aggravate me when I tell you to quit on Brenton and you don't. You got to tell EVERYONE about your side, I didn't. I call this ABOUT ******** TIME! I've been holding it in and for what? I have no reason to hide this, I don't care about the repercussions. You shouldn't care what I think either, ever. My opinion or what I ever say about you shouldn't matter to who, it's who you think you are. You have a wonderful boyfriend, whom is probably the most perfect person for you. Keep him and you, boyfriend, keep her.

Poor Jeff and Brea and Arthur. xd Hell yeah for you guys being there for me, knowing me, and loving me. I have four friends that love me unconditionally, regardless of what happens. Why, because they know me, everything about me. They love me so how can I be such a horrible person and have not just one best friend, but four (my hubby is included in that)? That may not seem like much, except they know ALL my dirty secrets and caught me in quite a few predicaments. Especially my big bro. gonk Arthur, man, you know that I'll always be there for you to kick my a** after I do stupid s**t, which you always catch me on. Tell me your secret! domokun They know me and I know they love me. They don't tolerate me, they don't put up with me, they sure as hell don't follow me ( rofl at that statement, I always followed Arthur around while he gave me noogies).

As my dirty secrets, they include nothing of this site. In fact, when I message people on msn, I don't talk about Gaia. EVER. This place to me is nothing more than a mere game. I get donations because I pay for other sites any how. It helps advance my play on this site. Wow, do I ever take this site seriously. rofl Yeah, uh-huh, keep telling yourselves that. Thing that bothers me is people msning others about the people on here. I won't say whom, but does it really matter? xd Let them swelter under the stress THEY create, yes they-- nobody else but them creates it for them, on Gaia. I am not so attached to this place that I have the patience nor really the care to talk about this place. I flee to wherever I go. When I flee, no one on here but my decision rules what I do. I followed in the beginning and I find to have stumbled upon my voice.

I follow no one. I owe none of you anything. I want friends that give the friendship with nothing in return, without expecting anything, without receiving anything, blah, blah, blah, etc. I do the same to you. If I befriend you, it's not because I want s**t or followers, and I never want people to claim how popular I am on here ever again. I saw it mentioned in Link's profile a while, I want that image washed away.

Why might I be considered popular? Because I won the arena. I didn't win because I was popular, aw hell no. I know a few people that hated me, downvoted me, then claimed to vote me up when I actually one first place. xd Haha at you for trying to let me believe that. Who you kidding? xd A lot of you did vote me up. Look at how many votes I got? You think all the members in the cafe did that? s**t no! I won because I had a damn good avi, I advertised everywhere, it helped that an event was going on, and again, I had a damn good avi. It has nothing to do with popularity. No one is to follow me, no one is to claim I have superiority, popularity, whatever. I'm not above any of you. You are not below anyone, well, except the few that are because they're so insecure they're keen on having people follow them to make themselves believe that people honestly care about them.

I say what I want when I want. The only time I hold back is when I'm requested. I may be blunt, but I know when it could hurt more than one person, and involve for than just me. That's when I keep my mouth shut. Others should learn to do the same. Otherwise, you're doing things for the whole purpose of disgracing another human being. Why? Because it makes you feel better that you're not the low-life that you really are. If you make it seem like there is someone worse off than you are, it makes you feel good. Sick is what it is. I recommend daily therapy and possible institution. You're insecurities are so deeply unsettled that you need to become almost a dictator. Tell people what to do, what to say, where to go. You give and you give so that you can take. Take your followers, bring up how much they owe you, etc. You always make public notice of when you do something so good so other people think you are that way. Faker. A true giver gives with no intent. I do it, Ella does it. Why? Because we know this place is just a game. We care about the faces behind the pixels. We aren't fake. We've had people follow us and do things we didn't ask them to do, but they do it. Not because we think they should, but because they did it. If they didn't like it, they weren't required to do it. End of story. One always has a choice. In the end, blame yourself you holier than though smutface.

xd I would feel sorry for you people, but then I would have to care.

Personally, I think everyone is selfish. But there's a kind of selfish you shouldn't be. I am not that type. Long ago I was, but I am not the person I once was long ago. People grow up, they change. I grew up, I changed. Get over it. Talk about yourselves for once. Talk about shoes for once. There is more to life, especially over instant messenger than Gaia. God damn, people. Get over it.

LMAO at my typos. Oh well, get over that too. xd I was rushed and excited at posting this.