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I feel like I'm being sucked down a black hole, not being in control of my surroundings. Or maybe a jungle, where everything's out to get me. It seems that everything that's happening, I know will happen...well some, but it's out of my control; out of my reach.

First of all, the whole stepdad thing. Life has really changed since he left, and not like it's a bad thing, it's been for the better. Everyone's calm, everyone's happy and so on and so forth. The thing is sometimes fear. The first weekend mom was home alone, my sister and I decided to be nice and clean her room for her for the first time. Well, that seemed harmless, when in fact it is harmless, but when mom walked in it was dark. She came upstairs in the nighttime and threw open her double doors, ready for her night time ritual, and there was that clean room..."Holy s**t!! He's back!!!!" Well you see, one thing we overlooked is: my old stepdad was a neat freak. My sister told me to hide the note a little bit so that it'd be a surprise, and when mom opened the door, her first thought was, ' he's come back and cleaned the room!!!' So you must understand how we are all on end.
At one point, our sprinklers were mysteriously kicked out, broken, and no one else's. Mom suspected my old stepdad. It's weird, because my dad won't let me stay home alone, and my mom changed the locks...Things are just rather different.

And then my best friend Chelsea is moving away tomorrow...I can't stop thinking about it, how much I hate it, how much I'll feel alone. It's hard, I've known her since the fourth grade, she's like a sister, and yet she's being dragged away. The thing I hate most about it is, we can't see eachother. Dad absolutely refuses, mom refuses. Her parents don't trust my real dad, and they don't have the money to send her down here. Even if they did, that's a day's worth of riding roundtrip!! I don't know what I'll do...I keep thinking about it, and I keep getting sadder and sadder. I only have one day left to count until she leaves...Until I have to pick up my scattered pieces and try and understand what I'll be doing alone from there...