Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

So i woke up this moring and i felt the most at peace i've felt for a while. It doned (don ned) on me last night that I'd just lost some very importent people in my life and it's not like they died or any thig but they had to leave to save a better cause. I understand that but it didn't stop me from wanting things to be diffrent. Well last night one of my friends had a get together and from what i've seen ever time we get together we always end up talking to each other like deep deep group discussions. well two of my friends went off and solved the problem between them and i was so glad they were happy. You have no idea how happy i was to see that every one in the group was feeling better and smiling, but it also made me sad. I sorda relized it doesn't matter how happy we are now in the end we're always alone. They're all leaving school next year it's not like i don't have other friends but thease ones are deffently one of a kind. I'm going to miss seeing them every day. It's times like last night that I don't feel like i belong. I'm some what of an out sider. Going back to what i was talking about well i went home after the get together and i was out like a light. I had a very strange dream and all of them were in it but also my other family was there. I don't mean my blood family no they don't mean much to me. I don't feel any bond besides the urge to watch out for the younger ones. I'm so tired of them. except one and i have to say he is one of the feel people that i love. going back again though. I don't remember much about the dream just the faces. That dream and what one of my friends said at the party. I'll just have to enjoy the time i have with them while it lasts but that doesn't stop me from feeling sad. I'm happy though i finaly found my happy medium. So i guess all i was trying to say is that the wheel of fate works in very strange ways just let guid you. if I had never had an interest in learning Japaness I wouldn't be typing this right now. I think i understand why i wanted to go to the school i go to so badly it's because i was ment to meet the people i've meet and i was saposed to be able to feel the way i feel now. It sucks at the worst of times and is amazing at at the best. Enjoy the day, holiday or not, because it could be the last day to see some one you love or the last day you live. It's time to live and let things go. Live to your fullest Love to your fullest and enjoy it while it last, because it could be gone in a second.

ok on a less serious note. if you read this all the way through i thank you i just wanted some very important people to know what i feel. I'm no good with talking to people. Well thanks again and feel free to respond. As long as I know some one took the time of day to at least pretend to care. Or care enough to read this to the end. ninja Yeah Ninja.