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...Another year of sadness...

...new school...new people...and the new probblem child in the crowd...Me...

It started when i just got my schedule for my new classes of the new year of the new school i fell into...it was an ok school...but full of people with not a probblem to deal with...exept one girl...when I went to my 6th period i was the shy new child comeing into the class...people already wanted to know me but only cus the school is "Clicky"...I didn't want to talk...knowing that if i made friends i would only cause probblems as always...and as i sat in the circle waiting for the class to end already...I saw a girl not like the others...i wanted to get to know her cus she seemed to be a nice person..to meet...even tho i knew the consiquences of becomeing friends....I talked to her anyway and had a great time explaining relations and helping each other with our probblems...untill she told me she had a Boy friend...and thats when i knew it wasn't gunna end right...

The next few days we got to settle down and talk about things not others were alowed to hear of course....when the question came about why i was sad all the time...i told her "beacuse of alot of reasons...the people,...why we're here,...how life looks gray all the time to me,...and of course...Love..."she gave me advice i hear all the time...but she was cute...and everytime i was sad she'd always have that perfect smile to cheer me up...i knew she had a gift...but i don't wish for her to waste such a thing on me...especialy since she has a guy by her side...and i'm the 2nd in the way between them...

...After a couple weeks after i have gotten settled in school...and felt alittle more comfterable around her...and being the child of probblems and consiquences...I let my solid wall down to her like the fool i am today...I told her as i bowed my head to the ground, hands closed together.. "I hope you don't take this the wrong way but...i do like you more then a friend...ever since i saw you and met you...you've made me smile...much more then ever...I'm sorry if i sound weird saying that...I.." ...she replied to me..."well...I like you too..." i replied back- "well...yes i know...but only as i friend i know..." and she said softly "well...actuly...I like you more then a friend too..."...hearing those words...from a girl that is taken and marryed...made me...feel...loved...at the time...but is it wrong to feel it this way?

...Few more months of the new year passed by...and as worst gets worster...I met her Boy Friend at a school football game...He of course never liked me from first sight...(It's a common and typical judge I get all the time)...and I didn't like him eather as much...mostly cus of the way he deals with things and has to be right about everything...but as long as hes him self I'll accept him...just as any humen being I incounter....but of course my fuse can only go so far too....

...To Be Continued...