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Thats right. Its my Birthday today. But hey, I don't really care. What did I get on my birthday? I got a trip to school! Whoo... Not.

Birthday's really are pointless. You don't get to take the day off from school, and I only feel like the more birthday's I have, the older I get. Does anyone else get that feeling? Anyway, Here are my reasons why Birthday's are pointless:

1.) Yet another year on this god forsaken rock, and the only thing to look forward to is more mundaine... Life doesn't get easier the longer it goes. It is in fact, quite the opposite. The more years you waste on this planet, the more the system tries to play you. Wringing your for your cash, forcing you to work, keeping you in a relationship, Its all pointless!

2.) Have you accually ever gotten somthing that you really wanted for your birthday? Somthing that will make the next year better for you? Probably not. Im not saying no to any gifts that might be distributed on this day of annual birth, but I mean, after this month is over, will any of the gifts make a difference? I think the best gift I could possibly get for my birthday, would be socks. I'm not even kidding. I am in such a need for socks, Im about ready to buy them myself. (And not Gaia socks, if thats what your thinking.)

3.) Reason three is reserved for the Parties. Birthday parties.... LETS CELEBRATE ONE YEAR CLOSER TO DEATH! Yippee! Now I'm not ragging on all parties in general. Don't get me wrong. I love parties, but what a stupid thing to celebrate. Instead, I am making a national stand against "Birthday Parties", and starting "Just for ********' Cuz Parties." I want people to go to parties, and when they are there, I want them to ask: "Dude, this party is awesome! Whats the occation?" "Dude, I don't even ********' know man..."
That is the party for me. No celebrating stupid things, no unnceicary cake, and no rules. Oh, and one more thing....

4.) NO SINGING!!! The birthday song. One of the most assinine american traditions EVER! The next time someone starts to sing the birthday song to you, I want you to do me a favor. Punch them. Punch them as hard as you can in the face. Go on. The song is way better with broken teeth. So next time someone lights the candles on a cake, don't start singing.

5.) What is the point of lighting candles? To blow them out, right? So why even light them? I want to know the statistics of houses that burn down because of birthday candles. So lets light them, and blow them out beofre they burn down the house. Sounds like fun to me! And what is worse than just lighting the candles, lighting the candles that won't go out! Why would you do that? Blow candles out over a cake, puts so many jerms on the cake, its not even possible to imagine. Now, lets multiply that, but how ever many times you try and blow out everlasting candles. 4 tries? 5 tries? how about 10 tires? Thats alot of germs. And what about a person with an ager problem? Have you seen someone with an anger problem trying to blow those candles out. You won't have a cake anymore. Sry.

6.) Upon further pushing, I have been encuraged to write about how Pinata's are part of the birthday hatred. Basically, all a Pinata is, is a chance for little kids to resort to pimal instinct, and beat the crap out of some poor defencless animal. I think the only thing this promotes is hatred towards plamboyant animals. Just cuz they are multicolored, dosent mean you should hate them. Under that papermashay outside, they are just as sweet as you and I. But really... If you cant the kids to stay preocupied with a stick and have the twist of searching for candy, tell them that cat poo's are etable and let the cat loose. Add kids and a stick and you have a real party.

Can you think of anything else I missed? If so, I will gladly rant on that topic too. See you next week. Look for a reveiw on Advanced Wars on Friday.