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Well I covered my escape last time, and now I will cover the robot monkey washing machine part one. It was a two part story that expains why I went through two cellphones in two years.

Alright, well, in Pennsylvania we had the extra expensive washing machine/dryer that had a robot monkey wash the clothes for you. It was extremely effective, we brought the clothes, and he washed them, dried them, and folded them. He did it well enough that he actually separated the darks and whites and stuff.

One day, I brought him a basket of clothes and as I left he came off of standby, and actually attacked me. We don't know what happened, but he began to maul me for no reason. Now I'm not a bad fighter or anything, but I couldn't stand up to a robot. I tried to escape, but he managed to rip off my jacket. He washed the clothes normally, and went to standby, but he washed my jacket as well, which had my cellphone in it.

The next day we sold him to a poor family in Africa (for the low low price of free) and that was the last I saw of him.

Or was it?