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Okay, let's see. I can't really think of a good place to start, but whatever. Not like anybody out there is reading this junk anyway. At least not out of concern or something of the like.
I think I'm letting myself slip. I don't really have a good grasp on anything and the more I think about it the more I wonder if I ever really did have one on something, anything, in the first place. Ever since I quit twirling, I've pretty much been a lump. I mean, I was never a social butterfly to the extent that I was always out doing something with somebody, always running around, shopping, gossiping, just being a dufas teenager like every body else seems to do. And whenever I think about the logic behind my missing out on these things.. Well, I just wonder if I'm on the path to total anti-social behaviour. I mean, I don't like forcing my way into a group just so I will have somewhere to turn to play my 'woe is me' card. I know most people could give a damn what is happening in my life, and these past couple of years not being in twirling with all those bimbos to distract my aggressions, is making that all the more clear. Especially since I am now 18, leglly an adult, on my way to college, and completely clueless about how the business world works. I'm going to have to get a job, I know. And I actually have the opportunity to try becoming a model since I was with Barbizon, a modeling school, for six months this past year. But I am not passionate about modeling.. And when I'm not dead-set on something, I slack off.. I just don't feel the drive to push myself to succeed for something I never had teh desire to excel in to begin with. I know it's a good opportunity, and my parents are getting frustrated with me every time I try to tell them my interests don't lie with something that would literally take more maintanence than any other job out there. I KNOW IT'S A GREAT OPPORTUNITY. But it doesn't dazzle me. I have no fashion sense, really. I don't put a lot of effort in my appearance when I get up for school every morning. I just make sure I am comfortable with how I look, that I don't look like a hood or a slob or a toal reject. I care about how I look, but I don't dress it up every day like I have something to prove. Again, nobody gives a flying flip about me. They have themselves to worry about.

I need to get out of the house. I'll come back to this later..