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An actual meaningful jounal?
It's been a while since I've wrote in here. I've wanted to write down something more meaningfull in here, but I just can't bring it up with out making myself feel really down. But I guess that's going to come sooner or later. Were people's family/home lives this difficult back then? I know there wern't so many divorces and stuff, but I can't think that anyone back then would have such a great relationship as I do with my parents. Especially my mother. My dad and I get along great, but he has temperment issuses. Mostly about horses. And I'm so close to my parents because lots of my home issuses happen with horses and I can't really talk to most people about that because they won't understand what goes on at the farm. But both my parent's do. I can always talk to my mom about everything, and she rarely gets mad. But then my dad fills in the angry parts that I probably need. But I don't really want. I feel like I have changed a lot in the last 2 years, but I don't know if that's from the divorse or not. Maybe I would change a lot if it wasn't for my parents splitting up. But what I really hate that it seems my mother rushed to get married. She did as me if I liked him and all, and I said yes. I mean, mike isn't a bad person at all. I do like him, but I'm not ready to call him my step-dad. His daughters are all really nice, but the eldest has some problems. She was caught doing drugs a few times, so she is spending time with her grandparents because she wasn't getting along with her mother and her dad can't keep looking after her. And they fight constantly. And curse against each other. I guess i don't have siblings, so this might just be a big shock to me because of that.. I find myself liking to be alone more than ever when a lot of people are together at my mothers house. I don't like it when Mike comes over excessivly. He interrupts me a lot too, but I don't think he notices it. Along with my dad, I think he gets so angry he doesn't notice he's screaming. And it scares me whn I come back down stairs and he want's to hug me. I'm glad my parents hug me. know quite a few people that don't get hugged by parents. And it's sad. But I don't know. All I can do is live my life, I don't know if I can change it much..
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