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A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his
bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that
was addressed to 'Mom' With the worst premonition she opened the envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter.


Dear Mom:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew
you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight
motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But
it's not only the passion...Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be
very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for
the whole winter. W e share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really
hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the
other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we
will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.
She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of
myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to
know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son Paul


P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Dustin's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.