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I had a friend that was very kind to me in the past. But when I was about to get married to the man I love, she decided to try and protect me with harsh accusations that he was going to hurt me just because he was in the military, he would never love me as much as she did, that he said things that made her have "concerns" when it was only a frustrated response at me being in a pushy nagging mood. She got the idea in her head that she was right, and that was that; there could be no other answer in her eyes. She now wants to try and mend that friendship, or at least "did" want to.

RECAP:
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Her First message:
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Wow! Bridgey...Japan! That's amazing! I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't a little jealous, but I'm incredibly excited for you too! Sorry...I just read your update on deviant. I'm sorry about your ferret. I still tear up when I pull into the garage at Mama's house and Bootsie's not there to meet me. Anyway...I just had to say something to you since I just learned that you'll be gone for four years starting this fall. What part of Japan will you be in??? What base??? I have a friend in my office who grew up in Japan - his Dad was in the Air Force. Just curious.

I know that my words were ultimately the straw that broke the camel's back. In the past couple of years, you've proven me wrong - I know this by the little bits of information about your life with Peter that have trickled down to me. I don't blame you for shutting me out of your life - I attacked your lover and apparently for no good reason. I was wrong. I hope you understand that I was scared for you. I witnessed some things that made me uneasy about Peter and I was convinced that you were making a mistake. Once again, you proved me wrong. Please know that all I ever wanted for you was happiness. You meant (and still mean) so much to me as a friend and even (as we were often mistaken) as a sister. We have always been polar opposites, yet somehow we could finish each other's sentences. I believe that we shared a bond unlike other friendships. I know that it has been broken, never to be the way that it was, but I would like to at least attempt to rebuild a little...I'm sure that our foundation is still there.

Please don't think that the news of you moving to another country is what initiated this. I think of you very often and have tried to think of adequate words to say to you ever since we stopped talking. The death of a friend just a few weeks ago helped to remind me of just how precious life is. I don't want to waste what time we have left as enemies. Not when you meant so much to me for so long.

Sincerely,

H
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My response:
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First off, I apologize for this delayed response. I really wasn't too sure on what to say in all honesty, so I've been trying to find the words to respond with.

Us getting moved to Japan is a pretty awesome event, I'm sure you can imagine that Pete and myself are ecstatic for this opportunity. But for now, I'd like to not discuss that topic for the time being. I'm more interested in addressing the other part of this letter, seeing as how it's the part that I rather discuss. I do also want to thank you for your condolences for Mr. J. He meant a lot to us and we would have given anything to give him a better fighting chance if we were given the information on his condition earlier.

Wow, what to say...well, I'm sure you personally understand my hesitation; being hurt is something that no one wants to endure a second time around. I've been able to push aside the past and live my life, thinking that you and I would most likely not ever have the chance of returning to a situation we both enjoyed together. I really felt you would be more stubborn about it all, but thats merely from what I remember from that time frame, but time does change us.
I also believe that everyone does deserve a second chance, and I'm willing to give this that chance. I will say that if we do attempt this, you will have to do something in particular to help prove to me that you really are serious about trying to repair our tattered friendship:
You need to talk to Peter yourself and apologize for your words.
This entire rift was made because of some misunderstood information that the two of you fell upon, and got completely out of hand due to a lack of communication between the both of you dealing with the situation. It only got worse without you guys talking to each other and used me as the go between. That was the biggest problem and heart breaker for me. I know from experience that Peter can be an a**, trust me. But it's just a character flaw that as long as he's informed of it nicely, he takes notice and adjusts. Just like my character flaws are 1.)that I worry about EVERYTHING and make myself sick about it and 2.) I have a tendency to not communicate/inform others of things and make matters worse. And thats just to name a few of my own; No body is perfect. Peter is in my life to stay, it hurts too much to have people around me that could say hurtful things about him when they really don't know him in the first place... Luckily, so far all of my other friends either get to know him and then befriend him, or accept him and get along well regardless of the differences. He really is a nice guy as long as those around him are nice back, in fact thats another character flaw of his that gets him taken advantage of very often.

If you're willing to try the above request, I'll give you the information you need to contact him. I've already discussed with him about the two of you communicating, and he's fine with it. As long as you make a sincere effort to do this, I will be more than happy to start laying the bricks on our foundation again.
I know it may seem like I'm trying to push you two to become friends, but it really is just a choice, especially at this point. You have the choice to try or not, and I will do the same, as long as you do. Thats all I ask.

I hope we really can repair our friendship.

-Bridget
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Her Response:
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A friendship is a gift, not something to be entered into under terms and conditions. After all that we have been through together, I'm extremely disappointed that you seem to think that an ultimatum is needed. Lets not forget Bridgett that I was friends with YOU. The relationship that has been damaged here is Mine and Yours...not mine, yours and Peters. I don't think you have ever appreciated the fact that I was trying to protect you. I tried to befriend Peter because you wanted me to. I stopped trying when I saw things that caused me to believe that you could be in danger. I proved myself to you as a friend time and again. My final act of proving myself to you was jeopardizing our friendship in order to protect you. I have nothing left to prove. I am an amazing friend who went above and beyond for you many times, but you seem to have forgotten all about the good things. This one bad thing has become the dominant monster that you see when you think of me. Maybe you should take some time to remember our friendship before all of this started. We were the epitome of what best friends should be. To shut all of those memories out and focus only on the one bad thing that ever happened between us would be your loss. I choose to remember everything else. I regret what I said, but I will not wallow in guilt because of those words. Instead I take pride in the fact that I was the best friend that I could be to you.

~H
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My Final response:
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H,

Well, I'm sorry you feel that way about the situation. And I do agree that friendship is a gift, but honestly my request was merely a choice, not a term or condition, and it seems you made your choice. Peter and I are married, a united couple as one. I made that vow at the alter as did he. We think together, we cry together, we love together; being friends with me means you would see him and I together, period. I can't, and won't, take special time out of my life just to be with someone that is not willing to at least get to know him, and you never really tried to in all honesty. It was easy for you when Peter and I lived in different states, you could get away with it at that point due to the distance. But that will never be the case again with the bond that he and I share now.

And you say you're disappointed in me? Seriously, do friends really push all their acts of kindness in the other's face? It actually sounds more like you enjoyed doing those things to make yourself feel better about doing a good deed instead of doing it because you cared. Why bring it up every single damn time you and I get into this same argument? You have over and over again said that I must not have appreciated all that you did for me. Did I not thank you every time you did do something for me? Did I not lend you a shoulder to cry on when you did the same for me? I ******** appreciated it H, I really really did. I showed my appreciation by being your friend because I really thought you cared as much as I had. But with how you address that "kindness" makes it seem like it was something you considered a blessing that you ever did anything for me. If you've done this in hopes to "make" me remember all the good times, why the hell should I if you keep parading it above my head like that? That is something I don't appreciate, you don't do that to your friends, you just don't. You don't just go around accusing your friends of not appreciating your generosity just because they wanted to move on with their life. You never got to know Peter, so honestly you were right, you did slander him for no damn good reason. Your "protection" turned into a barrage of insults and accusations that caused grief and stress to more people than just you and I.

I remember that you have always said that all you wanted for me was happiness. Well you have no cause for concern because I am happy, in fact there are very few times I can recall being this content with my life. I'm also glad you don't feel any guilt from this matter, because as it is, I don't need you in my life to make me happy.