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Time, it's past, present and future are in my head.
It's Been Fun.
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"Strawberries!"
I quickly turned around to look at who had replied to this very serious question in such a manor, she was sitting a few seat behind me, her skin as pretty pale, sunken blue eyes, long blond hair and she had a slender body. I was pretty awe struck by her of course, she was new to me, that's for sure. I looked around the classroom as everyone giggled and laughed, I turned back towards the board being the obedient B student I was. I looked at the teacher to see his reaction, but I can't remember it. Before I knew it, my mind was enthralled with the thoughts of this pale angel. Who was she? It was half a year before I learned her name, but I recall a time that I just simply called her "Strawberry Girl" because of her comment that day. Her name was Justine, her father was in the navy and her mother was a homemaker, a perfect family from this view. Before I had realized it, Justine and I where hanging out during classes, helping each other out and of course blush at each others words. Finally, one day after practically being harassed by her best friend to do it, I asked her out during Lunch. I went up to her and shyly looked down at the ground. I called up all the courage I could and I said my part and stared at her necklace on chest that I had failed to notice before. She demanded she look up at her eyes and ask her out and I repeated, "Justine, will you be my girlfriend." I'll admit, looking back at it, it was pretty embarrassing, but she humbly accepted. I couldn't believe it, she and I where a match made in heaven and I couldn't be happier.

She, like any middle school girls, had friends. And though I hate to admit that I'm a somewhat jealous guy, found it irritable that she would hang out with them. Her best friend, didn't like me very much and pointed out that I was very lucky yet unworthy candidate for her best friend, Justine. I'll admit, I felt that I did get a little bit over my head, but I finally had a girlfriend, what more could I ask for, s I never took her seriously. Her other friend was a guy, I felt my heart dropped every moment they where together laughing. After a month of being a couple, I decided in my head that it was obvious that she liked him more so than me. Out of anger, I asked her to meet me in the library so that we could talk. I explained that I felt she liked her guy friend more than, so I demanded we break up and I left the building in shambles and tears. I didn't like the idea of not being with her, but if she felt more joy in being with him rather than me, I had to do it. Looking back on it, I feel like fool for that moment I walked in public with water streaming down my face. That day at home, I felt extremely depressed, the reason being that I'm a very clingy person. I know people don't like that but I can't seem to let go of people I grow accustomed to. However, it seemed that I had fallen for my own trick, my own lies, she didn't like him, otherwise, she wouldn't have had accepted my courting. The next day, while traveling to Gym going down a flight of stairs, Justine and her friend had followed me. They called out my name, and I looked up, her best friend demanded that I we got back together, and Justine asked me to call off the break up, both of us knew that it was a bit premature. I gladly accepted it, how could I refuse such an invitation. However, it seemed that things where not going too well in her home life. Things, I wasn't prepared for.

I don't remember how long it was until I realized that her family life wasn't going too well. But, I did what I could, I gave her comfort. She came to me to get away from all her problems at home, though I had wished didn't have those problems, I was happy that she came to me. Believe me, you'd be happy too if you where getting this intimate with a girl when you where this young. She was my first kiss, my first real girlfriend, my first sign of hope. And then, finally, her parents got divorced. Her father was in the Navy and they where no longer able to live in the military housing that was provided. Once my mother found out that my "friend" (she thought that since we hadn't done anything, hah, we where just friends.) didn't have a home to go to, she immediately invited Justine to stay with while her mother found them a place to live. Wow, looking back on it, I just couldn't be happier, it was one of the best times in my if up til now. What's particular about this case is, we where living in a one bedroom apartment and I was in the living room. So we shared the living room, which was pretty big, there where two couches and we slept in either of them. Of course, that's not to say that we didn't share couches from time to time. Waking up in the morning to a kiss is a dream in the past now but it's something that I was most grateful for. Those where the kinds of things I was longing for. Walking home together, walking to school together, waking up, getting ready, it's like we where a married couple. But, like any story in this situation, we kind of, got tired of seeing each other so much. The little things started to bother me. The thing that I could remember the most was the fact that she was starting to talk about having kids. Thinking about it, it's stupid to end a relationship on such a weak base. However, after she spent three months together, her mother finally found a place to stay and I broke it off soon afterward. What's worse about it, the reason I did it was because she moved out of the walking distance from where I lived and she was going to go to a different school. I felt that her being in a new surrounding, she would find someone else to be with and I felt threatened. I didn't want to feel the heartache of being dumped. I've never been dumped, I haven't been given enough chances in life yet to be dumped. So, I broke it off long before she had a chance. It only took her a week after we broke up to find a new boyfriend, of course with her style and looks, who wouldn't want to go out with her. I went back to her place to collect a few things and finally say goodbye. I also met her boyfriend. Oh, which reminds me. In fit of rage Justine told her new boyfriend that I exposed myself to her and he turned around told her mother. It was obviously the truth, we had done all kinds of crazy things while we where living together that we didn't want our parents to find out at the time, so she agreed to call a truce and disproved her new boyfriend. We hugged one last time and parted ways from there. My mother was very displeased with the fact that she had lied about such a thing and refused to associate herself with them. I on the other hand, new the truth and couldn't bring myself to do such a thing. It has been six years since this happened and one day during my college years, I came into contact with her again. We met up and she told me what happened to her after I left. She explained that she had gotten into heavy drugs and felt her mother abandoned her after she (her mother that is) started using medication and finally overdosed on her medication and is practically brain dead. Justine, ran away from home and lived on the streets for several months then she started living in a center for teens in her situation. She got back into art, (which remembering was one of the many reason why I liked her and still do) and is now living with her boyfriend who's a part of a really cool circus. So now, I wish her the best of luck and great fortune whatever she decides to venture into as her life continues on for many, many years.

end.





Mark Xipil
Community Member
  • 09/07/08 to 08/31/08 (1)
  • 08/24/08 to 08/17/08 (1)
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