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Mr. Journal
Chronicles of Michael's adventures through hell along with his group of allies that he picks up along the way.
Ch: 21: Old Akan –plays some banjo music- mhm, dat's right
Ch: 21: Old Akan –plays some banjo music- mhm, dat's right



The portal they took out of lust led into a bathtub that was in the room next to a luxurious, spacey bed room. Vincent felt along the wall and flicked the first light switch he found. A disco ball came down and the two lights attached to the wall shone on it so the disco ball would reflect the light all over the room as it spun, thus 'setting the mood'. "Apparently people in the 1970s found this sexy…."Vincent commented.

Izazu covered his nose as a pungent strawberry smell washed over them from the vents "Someone doesn't have a sense of smell apparently." He commented on the occupant of the room and Rose jabbed him with her elbow in his side, Izazu squeaked and covered his side with his arm so it wouldn't happen again.

"This is Selene's room." Rose said, recognizing it from her childhood, the pungent strawberry smell triggered her memories of sitting outside while her mother 'talked to' clients "Oh, I think there's a huge table with food outside!" she told them and hurried to the door along with Izazu, who was hungry after 'talking to' all the succubae in the room in the circle of lust.

"Wait," Vincent said feeling like the lone voice of logic as the others followed Rose "If there was food there in your childhood, wouldn't it all be spoiled by now?"

"It's not like hell doesn't replace its food." Diamond rolled her eyes. Vincent stayed silent at that and followed the rest out there. Surely enough there was a huge table filled with foods ranging from fine meats and soups, to McDonalds burgers and melted tubs of 'Ben & Jerry's' super brownie chocolate chip sugar coated diabetes fudge dunk ice cream.

"I guess you can have at it Rose." Izazu gagged a bit when he saw a bloated corpse of an already severely obese man face down in the soup, it had the smell of a rotting fruit bowl that a skunk crawled into and threw up in before dieing and the corpse's skin had a clammy complexion. "I lost my appetite." Izazu averted his eyes.

Rose expelled her lunch onto the floor while facing a nearby wall "Hey, it looks like a tub of diaheria!" Michael exclaimed looking at the 'Ben & Jerry's' super brownie chocolate chip (etcetera etcera) and he was jab in the side by Rose, causing much the same motion that happened with Izazu.

After the group got the hell out of the bloated corpse dining. They saw there was a room with three doors; the outer two had strange writings on them that looked like the Greek alphabet. The right one had "GimelResHeHeDaleth" Inscribed on it while the left one had symbols that had suffered damage from an angry person with a large rock and had "Gula" inscribed beneath it in scratch marks. The center door had both seals on them but the author was too lazy to do them here. "Who votes we go into the left one?" he raised his hand.

"It doesn't matter what we think, you have the final say." Vincent told Michael "You're the only one who can close the portals." He rolled his eyes.

"I know." Michael sighed "I just wanted to taunt anyone who disagreed with me." He explained and could feel the awkward stare of the group on him as he finished. They went to the left one and it had a reflecting pool in it just like the one for sloth, the floors were smooth marble along with the ceilings and walls apparently whoever designed these rooms got a pretty good deal on marble at the 'Home Depot ®' or whatever hell's equivalent of it is (hint: it's Lowes©). First Diamond went through the portal followed by, Vincent, Rose, Izazu, and Michael who came hopping along with his foot in his mouth.

Gluttony was a green field with rows of trees that had fruit just out of your reach and it had a beautiful stream of refreshing water on the other side of a wall with armed guards. What looked like a plump southern cross between Colonel Sander and a Chicken came up to them on a chair with mechanized legs so he didn't have to walk "Hello yall, yall visitin'?" he asked them in a southern accent with an occasional 'cluck'.

"Where's Cerberus?" Izazu asked, always having want to throw three sticks in three different directions to see which one Cerberus would go after he already had the three sticks too.

"I'm downright 'fraid that Cerberus got rabies when fighting off a ra'coon and I had to take him into the back and put him down." Colonel Chicken said and nodded before strumming a few notes on the banjo in his lap.

"Wait, isn't that what happened to Old Yeller?" Izazu asked him.

"Now, you're just soundin' retarded." The Colonel said

"But-"

"Bless your heart." Colonel finished

"I'm confused." Izazu complained and curled up in a ball against a tree.

A fat person ran by in terror as a strange creature that had coarse wolf like hair and claws, three glowing green eyes, a red scarf that concealed its muzzle, and a raccoon tail. "Mrow!" it cried as it chased after the fat man and tackled him, its scarf fell away to reveal a muzzle lined with sharp fangs and it began eating the fat man.

"What the hell is that?" Michael asked wide eyed.

"That's the replacement for Cerberus, Akanescute." Colonel said and was attacked by Akanescute who had gotten bored with the fat man "Agggghhhhhh!" He tried to get away but his legs were too short to support his weight. When the guards were later asked why they didn't help Colonel by shooting Akanescute they replied in majority that he had it coming. Akanescute looked up and stared down Michael, Michael stared back and in that moment an unspoken pact was formed between them to fight as hard as they could and not stop till one lay defeated. Michael slashed at Akane, who jumped out of the way and let a barrage of green lasers loose from its eyes at Michael who rolled to avoid them.

Michael used the Minotaur soul and the Nirvana became a huge ax that he swung down on Akanescute only to have the beast stop it with both paws, demonstrating the ability to stand up right. It used all of its strength to push the ax back and make Michael fall onto his back, Akanescute jumped in for the kill only to be impaled through the stomach by Michael who turned Nirvana back into a long sword in the nick of time. As life left Akanescute's eyes, it wasn't angry at Michael for killing it or scared of death, more like it was happy with the fight and the bliss it felt from the all out brawl, it's eyes no longer glowed as if it went to sleep after a long and exhausting day of chasing fat people. Michael got out from under Akanescute's body and Nirvana began to glow red as it absorbed Akane's soul, the Nirvana glowed and grew another long blade from the end of the hilt, identical to the one that he fought with except for a faint outline of three orbs.





 
 
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