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i am losing it ;~; and i've come here to complain about it v.v not many people visit so it's like an exposed secret that's still a secret... any way something is wrong with me, i'm getting more useless and i keep mucking things up, i'm feeling sick and abandoned. i'm missing someone and as stupid as i know it is to even consider i think he's probably not missing me [v.v it's not a losinig of faith in him it's a doubting in myself] i've done something stupid and every time i look down it glares back at me and i hate myself for it...i'm sorry i feel like i pushed myself to a cliff face and i don't know what to do to >< everytime i think about i hear 'falling off or walking down either way you reached the bottom' and i hate it ~sinks to the floor~ i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry ~hangs head~ i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry T~T