I've got this really good freind, and lately, I've been thinking about him alot. All the time in fact. More than my own boyfriend. I love my Erik to death, and he treats me like a goddess! He really does whorship the ground I walk on, and I treat him no different. I don't want to lose him ever, but this other guy. He's a really great guy. I think I may be starting to gain an interest in him as more than just a friend. I'll be 20 at the end of the month, and he's only 4 years older than I am... roughly. He makes me feel really good about myself. I don't know maybe its just that he flirts non stop....but thats jsut how he is, so its not like I can assume he's into me, you know? But Erik doesn't flirt like that with me anymore. And I miss it. And I think its just the idea that a guy, any guy who knows me for me and is freinds with me is willing to flirt and do that freindly gutter talk banter with me, it makes me feel really good about myself, you know?
Maybe its that idea alone that makes me think I may like him as more. I don't know. I'm pretty sure he isn't into me, and even if he was, I wouldn't leave Erik for him. I love my Erik and its hard enough having our relationship long distance with him in Miami and me in Minnesota. It'd be even worse if I got with this other guy who lives in the UK. If I ever break up with Erik I refuse to do a long distance relationship again anyway. More over, Erik and I haven't done anything yet, we're both still virgins, simply because sex would jsut make the distance thing even harder. And this other guy is a fruckin' HOUND lol. He's such a playa, so hypothetically even IF I got with him, well I'm a jealous scorpio, I wouldn't be able to trust him. Not that he'd cheat, b/c he knows what its like to be cheated on, and he vowed he'd never do it, but I'd be extreamely paranoid anyway.
Plus there is so much about us that conflicts, he can be a real...bad word....sometimes lol, he like to insult women and my religious beliefs JUST to get me riled up and I couldn't be with someone like that...even if we WERE into eachother.
So saying there is no chance I'd leave Erik for him, then why am I always thinking about him? Half the time I log onto MSN its to see if he is on and to talk. UGH I hate it! I Really hope this is just all about me liking the IDEA of him...like I might wish Erik were more like that, than liking him in a more than friend's way you know?
Maybe its that idea alone that makes me think I may like him as more. I don't know. I'm pretty sure he isn't into me, and even if he was, I wouldn't leave Erik for him. I love my Erik and its hard enough having our relationship long distance with him in Miami and me in Minnesota. It'd be even worse if I got with this other guy who lives in the UK. If I ever break up with Erik I refuse to do a long distance relationship again anyway. More over, Erik and I haven't done anything yet, we're both still virgins, simply because sex would jsut make the distance thing even harder. And this other guy is a fruckin' HOUND lol. He's such a playa, so hypothetically even IF I got with him, well I'm a jealous scorpio, I wouldn't be able to trust him. Not that he'd cheat, b/c he knows what its like to be cheated on, and he vowed he'd never do it, but I'd be extreamely paranoid anyway.
Plus there is so much about us that conflicts, he can be a real...bad word....sometimes lol, he like to insult women and my religious beliefs JUST to get me riled up and I couldn't be with someone like that...even if we WERE into eachother.
So saying there is no chance I'd leave Erik for him, then why am I always thinking about him? Half the time I log onto MSN its to see if he is on and to talk. UGH I hate it! I Really hope this is just all about me liking the IDEA of him...like I might wish Erik were more like that, than liking him in a more than friend's way you know?
