I assure you my house is very normal. To suggest I have been seclusive and suspicious is ridiculous, I am very hospitable in fact. ( I highly recommend visiting the beautiful cantons Zürich and Geneva or paying a visit to Estavayer-le-Lac and the Grindelwald and Gstaad. Or you could spend a lovely weekend being pampered at our world-renown health resort Yverdon-les-Bains... at a price.)
In any case. To prove to the nations who have not had the privilege of being invited to my personal residence (and probably never will), that there is nothing suspicious about my home in any sense, I will be granting exclusive photographic documentation.
Take a good look, I will not be sharing many things this freely.
*Ahem*
I believe this mostly speaks for itself. And no, I will most certainly not renew my telephone or get an answering machine. That seems most bothersome. And yes it is plugged in, it's just not a good angle.
And please, the knives do not count as suspicious. How am I supposed to develop new designs for my most renown Swiss Army Knives without a template?
And as a fair warning, that scale is the most precise instrument you will ever come across. Don't even try ripping me off. Ever.
So. I hope you are all happy now.
Get out.
