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Random thoughts

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Hmm... am I needed anymore? Honestly, am I even remembered? Why is it that I have to be the one who seeks people out? Why does no one ever seek me out? Why do all my friends leave me? All I've ever done, all I've ever wanted to do, is to be someone's friend, to be there for them, to make them happy. Lately, I've been ignored, forgotten. Replaced and unwanted. Even if these weren't your intentions, even if you don't even notice what I'm feeling, it's happening. I have always had something within me. A darkness that I can 'feel'. It is like a cloud that envelopes my heart and keeps it chained away. Lately, that darkness has been growing. Why am I always left out of everyone else's hearts? I would do anything, anything!, to protect all of you, especially the ones I hold close to my heart. Why would a love like that be pushed away ? Maybe... there's just something wrong with me. Something that pushes people away. Forgive me if you are hurt or saddened by this, but it's what I feel. Maybe, I should just except it. I shouldn't care about myself and help those I truly care about, just like I did back then. Yet, should I be shunned in silence? I don't know what my heart says anymore...