So... there was some discussion in school this past week that kinda left me with a "Hmm? What am I gonna do in life?" kinda feeling. Yes I'm only a junior and it's ok that I don't know exactly where I'm headed but without that knowlege I'm kinda at a lost. I keep asking myself "What am I gonna do?" I totally envy those that know what they wanna do. Pursure they're music or writing, become doctors, whatever. I mean like even though they may not get to the place they want, they at least have a goal. Without a goal, the path I'm walking just seems endless. I keep taking turns that lead to the same nothingness. I stay at the same fork in the road for days because I'm not sure where I'm headed. When I do pick the path, I never know why or what's at the end. Iono... things just seem to be going quick...
Also, I've been thinking about who I am.... kinda sorta... well, yeah the above kinda insinuates that I've been talking about my self but like... I'm thinking about how I act. I mean, from my pov I know that I am shy and can't speak up, but that's in classes. With people in general, I'm open as heck, except with those few people. Plus, I always seem to be going for the next best thing I can have in my life. Like with my backwards morning and my fruit tarts(..... yeah codename... I use them all the time btw) I mean, sure I do like them, but why? Is it because I don't think of Ashley (another codename) in that ways (on the most part) anymore. Maybe I'm not really looking for someone to be with but rather someone to fill up a part of my life that's empty. It's probably a good thing I never really asked that many people out.... I'd probably be a guy who'd break hearts. *sigh*
smxinsane Community Member 
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