This stupid boy.
He's my age but he's in college on his parents money, no declared major, and he's bored about it. He's my age but he's rude to his parents and ungrateful at best. He's my age but he spends money like crazy on new things for himself and never anyone else. He's my age but he acts like he's so special.
Sometimes, he's nice. Sometimes I'd even call him cute.
And that's no excuse.
He's infuriating. I was being nice to him. I was being his friend. I liked him. And then I started liking him more and giving him subtle hints. Smart boy picked up on the hints and returned the flirtation. I'm just... upset and embarrassed. I went out of my way to make him feel welcome with our friends (or so he thinks. If he was less anti-social they could be 'our' friends) and then hung out with him at his house.
Things went far but they did NOT go all the way. I didn't let them. No freaking way. It was way to early for that and I'm waiting for my prescription of birth control pills to come in. And I told him this.
I'm on birth control because my period is psychotic. It'll come twice in a couple weeks and then disappear for months. I'm on birth control to regulate it with the artificial hormones.
But he didn't like that answer. After he used me to get his pleasure he sent me a message later saying he felt "sick" about what happened. He talked about not knowing whether or not I was sleeping with other guys, having unprotected sex, and that he just couldn't think about me being with anyone else. It made him want to vomit. He talked about not wanting to be friends with benefits (even though that's what he just did) but he didn't want to have a relationship with me because I've been sleeping around. Or that's what he believes despite what I tell him.
I'm just so ashamed that I let myself be used by him. I feel violated. I can't believe he did that to me. He used me for his own pleasure and then got out of a relationship or any other type of connection by calling me a whore. What kind of person does that? I tried to help him. I was trying to help him get a job, support himself... I genuinely cared about him.
And he just threw it back in my face.
Fine.
It's not like he's the only guy I could have. I don't sleep around but that doesn't mean I don't have guys flirting with me. I can take any one of them up on their offers right now. Justin, Courtenay, Jared, Logan, Sean... and 3 out of the 5 care about me outside of just wanting to get laid.
Steggy deserves no care, no affection, and no attention. I don't ever want to see or speak to him again. No one can treat another human being that way and be forgiven without an apology. No one.
Ashikase-hime Community Member 
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