I can’t continue like this!! I can’t stand it any more!! I wish I could go back and face the past as things should be done, but now the hate eats myself and I can’t think clearly. I'm wondering as how he could be: his face, his voice, his sparkling eyes, his contagious laughter, hir unconditional love. But no, I had to be selfish enough to finish something that couldn’t get started. I never felt myself so much hatred in this moment. I am so eager to scream and to feel free from this guilt, from these feelings that take over my body, but it’s not possible, because nobody can know from my sin, for them it was just an accident. If they knew what really happend... I don’t know... but I just want to escape and download my rage in other place, perhaps in other people. What am I becoming? No in a killer, because I already am that...