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Broke in some new jammies by lounging around and doing nothinnggggg.

But I've come to realize a problem:

Mother gave me several notebooks to write my thoughts down in, for quotes and my own mind ramblings. Except I don't really like talking about myself so personally in anything. I mean, this Gaia journal is okay, I guess, but that's because it's so lax. If I write a personal journal, the feelings are all suddenly hiked up and super special because they're supposed to be stuff I don't share with you guys. Which are few.

Then there's the fact that sometimes I DON'T REALLY WANT to look at some of the thoughts in my head. It's bad enough when they're trapped, swirling around my skull, but when you write/type them down, they then have shape. And shape has weight. And on heavy topics, I don't like the thoughts having weight. No-no to the weighty words. Sometimes I just don't WANT to realize that I'm deluding myself and pretending to believe something that a teeny weeny part of me says is true. Which I think is happening a lot lately. And I don't particularly like.

Thennn finally, the most obvious reason why I haven't kept a journal before this moment is because I forgot how bad my handwriting deteriorates when I try and write in a itty bitty notebook. e_e

IT TOTALLY SUX THE WORSTEST.

In an orange one, I just randomly started writing down quotes and in under a minute I realized THIS WASN'T GOING TO WORK because my chicken scrawl is UGLY UGLY UGLY and completely unreadable. So I ripped out the page. XD

So I'm trying to think of a way to get past this problem. That maybe I'll just save quotes and epiphanies to random pieces of paper like usual, and save the notebooks for my books. Yes, good idea, Me.

Oh yeah. Someone tell me what the hell a flan is. Because I saw it on a Spanish menu in both a resturant and in Spanish class, AND it was mentioned in this lame manga that I stopped reading after the first chapter, and I want to know what's so special about it and why I've never heard of it before this week.