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"Let's get drunk and take advantage of each other. Or, I could get drunk and you could just take advantage of me. OR, you can stay here and get drunk and I can go home and take advantage of myself. Either way, it's up to you."

"If I told you I was gay, would you let me touch you?"

"There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it."

"Would you ******** me if I was going to die soon? Well, I've got a bomb in my pants."

"The doctor said I broke the record for the world's most powerful p***s. Do you want to see me work my magic?"

"You look like my World of Warcraft character. Want to go back to my place and do some PvP (player vs. player)?"

"Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it. "

"Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out."

"Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package. "

"Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me."