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Yesterday, I was very lonely... I think all the talk of love and s**t got to me for once. Felt like I was missing something, something that everyone else around me was embracing but I couldn't see it, or feel it. My stomach clinched and all I wanted was to vomit...

I found out why my stomach has been bothering me lately. My theory is correct, when ever my mother yells at me or is mad at me for long periods of time, I get sick. My stomach burns and I need to vomit. I get this awkward feeling all throughout my body, like if something is coming... I guess this happens for disappointing her... I don't like this side of me, one that looks for her approval, when I know she's never going to acknowledge me...

My loneliness brought my nightmares back, I couldn't sleep last night. I wanted someone to hold me... I feel so weird today... like if there's a quiet desperation in my heart, trying to make its way out of my chest and lungs...

I can't cry... Not anymore... I cried to much this week, trying to get her to see what I'm going through... but she doesn't look, she doesn't care. I feel like I'm going to break again...

I just need someone to hold me. All I need is to know that someone loves me...