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Ok so how about I was with Ken, the most amazing man ever! He was sweet, and loving, and made me luagh like no1 else could. He's such a great person and made the happiest I had been in a long time. However as I have mentioned previously...he's in Maryland...and I'm Geoargia. We still did our damnest to make things work though. Granted he and I both have pretty upfront attitudes about things which got us into several disputes but nothing big or anything. I love him so much. I'd never want to give him up. I dream of the day he locks his arms around me and looks me in the eyes and finally says "I love you Amanda" and I was looking forward to it and so excited and so ready for it. it was suppose to happen this summer when he was going to come see but... we broke up.. His parents told him that if he came down to see me...than he wouldn't have a home to come back to. Why i'll never know but he said that if worse came to worse he'd come down and just live in his car. But with jobs being so hard to find nower days and the thought of him living in his car...I told him not to come. i figured no point in putting him through Hell if he and I weren't even sure if we'd work... I try not be pessimistic but realistic. Granted yea there's a chance and I may get married buy a home have kids and all that good stuff but...at the same time he may come down we see nothing but red for the first few monthes then by Christmas we may realize that we weren't who we thought we were or that "us" wasn't right ya know? In the end he pulled the trigger in us breaking up for these reasons but I agree wit it.
However just the whole situation kills me. I don't want to lose him. I never did. I love him so much and I want to make him just as happy as he's made me. And yea he and I are still hoping we can make it work later down the road but still...I can't help but to feel we might be making a mistake... I only want him happy though... I just love him so much...