"I could really cry right now my this small speck of hope in my heart keeps shining. I talked to Sam last night when I got home and he seemed to be in some sort of a daze. I asked him if he wanted to talk about it and this is pretty much what he said but dont quote me: I've given up so much to be with you, the military my friends and now I'm thinking about giving up martial art's. I don't feel like I have a life anymore. I feel like I'm living your life not mine.
I wanted to cry I wanted to scream but all I could say was this, once again don't quote me: Maybe you weren't ready to start a new life with me. Maybe you weren't ready to let go. I love you till the day the world ends weather you're by my side or not. You could have it all back and I would still love you.
I still haven't gotten much of a responce. I'm pretty sure hes questioning if I'm even worth all this that he's gone through. I know he gave up a lot but I have been putting myself through personality bootcamp just to keep up. Everything I do is for him, I go to school just so I can see him at the end of the day I join clubs to I have an excuse to stay after school so I can see him I go and volenteer because I want to see him at petco on sundays. Being with him completes me I have a meaning now and I would be torn to find that he is better off without me. Unfortunatly he's to good for me in the first place and I'm so lucky he has loved me for so long despite my continuous record of imperfections.
It's strange how everyone in the world could think you are going places and that your a hard worker but my life is worth nothing without him. I could never describe how much I love him because wordswould never bring this feeling of pure love justice. He is my world my everything I just hope what ever decision he makes will make him better off. I don't want to bring him down and I'm sure he won't let it happen.
So to answer the question what happens when the center of your universe disspears...You get consumed by this empty black hole that will sufficate you till you're no more...
Health Update:
I've forgotten my medication twice sence yesterday, I've been getting a lot of head ached and toothaches lately and the nausea is more frequent..."
I wanted to cry I wanted to scream but all I could say was this, once again don't quote me: Maybe you weren't ready to start a new life with me. Maybe you weren't ready to let go. I love you till the day the world ends weather you're by my side or not. You could have it all back and I would still love you.
I still haven't gotten much of a responce. I'm pretty sure hes questioning if I'm even worth all this that he's gone through. I know he gave up a lot but I have been putting myself through personality bootcamp just to keep up. Everything I do is for him, I go to school just so I can see him at the end of the day I join clubs to I have an excuse to stay after school so I can see him I go and volenteer because I want to see him at petco on sundays. Being with him completes me I have a meaning now and I would be torn to find that he is better off without me. Unfortunatly he's to good for me in the first place and I'm so lucky he has loved me for so long despite my continuous record of imperfections.
It's strange how everyone in the world could think you are going places and that your a hard worker but my life is worth nothing without him. I could never describe how much I love him because wordswould never bring this feeling of pure love justice. He is my world my everything I just hope what ever decision he makes will make him better off. I don't want to bring him down and I'm sure he won't let it happen.
So to answer the question what happens when the center of your universe disspears...You get consumed by this empty black hole that will sufficate you till you're no more...
Health Update:
I've forgotten my medication twice sence yesterday, I've been getting a lot of head ached and toothaches lately and the nausea is more frequent..."
