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"You're pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong."
-Panic! at the Disco - Time to Dance
As I look unto the distance, I cannot help but wonder how the hell I got here. All I know is that I am here, and I am meant to, because if I was not, I would not be. So I find myself here. Everything happened so quickly, I didn't know what to do; so I just went with it.
What a foolish thing to do.
I am unsure on how I am supposed to feel. I look back on everything I went through to get to this very place I am in right now, and it's almost hard for me to take in. I don't know how this happened, I don't know why that's happening, and I don't know why they're acting this way. But they are. What could God be trying to tell me?
I used to think I had the best friends ever. Now I have realized, as most people do in high school, that my friends are just like everyone else's: Temporary. There is only one friend that has ever stood by me 100%. I thought I had four best friends. One of them just makes me feel like s**t whenever I feel like crap. The other has decided to just slowly cut me off. And that one is letting me slip through her fingers. I guess I'm just not important anymore.
I can think of those I would want to stand by me forever, but just as the most beautiful of rose petals do, their friendships will wilt. And I've nothing but strength to muster.
In this life, one is supposed to learn that they should trust no one but themselves. Leading a life that way just sounds so lonely to me.
Things have changed so much. But I guess that's what high school does to you. I guess this is how things are meant to be. I will not question it, for it is His will.
I can't stand how the things we will never understand are what we try our hardest to.
But I am here, weeks away from being able to refer back to my freshman year. Thinking back on it, it shouldn't matter what happened, because it already did. And there's just no going back.
 Musical Rainbow · Fri Apr 10, 2009 @ 04:36am · 0 Comments |
I like art&signs(: