Dear Molly,
Before i begin let me say one thing, I want no tears. What is done, is done. You can not right the past wrongs, and i don't plan to try and do that. What has happened, what this war has made happen, is unforgivable, but i will be strong enough to write these last words to you.
You will receive a telegram soon. It will report that Charlie Peaceful has been sentence to death by the firing squad for cowardice and insubordination. In their eyes, that is the truth, but you need to know the situation i was in, in order to understand why.
We were in a small dug-out. We had crossed enemy lines, we were in the thick of battle. Surrounded on three sides, it was impossible to get out. Tommo got injured in a shell blast and was badly, but not fatally injured. I stayed with him, comforting him, singing softly in his ear, keeping him alive. We all thought we would wait till nightfall, i lull in the guns, and cross back to our trenches. Then, Hanley ordered us out. It was suicidal, Moll, honest it was, we would have all died, and Tommo could barely crawl, let alone carry his gun and run. We were all hesitant, barely believing that Hanley could even dream of such a stupid and unnecessary order. Then he bellowed it again, louder this time, stamping authority over us all. He was cruel, spiteful, and an idiot to believe we could get even one man back alive. So i disobeyed his order. I stayed with Tommo. It was silly, i know it was, but i couldn't leave him, he was so weak. I hoped and prayed with all my heart that Hanley wouldn't come back, that he would be shot, that i would get away. But he didn't. He came back. When the guns lulled and we stumbled back to our trench, i was arrested and taken away.
They gave me a court marshal, but of course it was not in any way fair. I was allowed no witnesses and so the authorities drank in every one of Hanley's words, savouring them and believing every lie and spiteful comment. He mentioned that time when i was given Field Punishment One and the incident with my foot.
Then they passed the sentence. The words cut through me like a knife. It will be short and painless though, Moll, remember that.
I do not want you to dwell on what happened. I want you to think of those happy times. The brook, the poaching, the airplane and the humbugs. The Colonel and the Wolfwoman. Bertha and the letters. This is a time for remembering, not regretting.
Please tell little Tommo all about his father. Tell him that one day, i'll see him in Heaven. That one day, we will meet once more. Tell him i wasn't a coward. Please tell him that. I want to be strong, a proper lad, and i want him to have as much love as our family can give.
Tell Big Joe were i have gone. Tell him that i will sing Oranges and Lemons with him when we meet again. Tell him that i'm with Father and Bertha now.
I have written another letter to Mother. I have explained everything to her.
and finally, my darling, you. I love you with every inch of my heart. I enjoyed every moment i spent with you, and it is you and Little Tommo i shall be thinking of when it happens. Never forget me. I'm sorry i was not a good father, and i'm sorry for any suffering my stupidity has caused. Life is tough, i learned that, but life without you would have been so much tougher. Keep smiling, for mother, Big Joe and Little Tommo.
and remember, although i may not be here in body, my heart and soul will always be with you. I will never leave your side. One day, we will see each other again.
Love for ever
Private Charlie Peaceful
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War is caused by those few 30 people who decide to start the war, and it is fought by those who are good. It's sad to say, but the good ones are always the ones who die...
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