I'm trying to get motivated to write... but.. it's... not... working! Grah, I know if I started typing I'd get really into it and stuff, but I just can't bring myself to type. I don't wanna write a love story right now. But at the same time, it's all I want to write...
I think if I didn't have the ability to write like I do I would go insane. It's the only relief I have sometimes.
Dammit, my shoulders are really tense. It's this damn sports bra! xd
Okay, think... KuroFai KuroFai KuroFai... come on... maybe I can find a song to listen to that will motivate me... I think I got one... kinda.
The reason I write my stories...
Like I said, it's the only way I can get stress out sometimes. Or maybe sometimes I get stressed when I write... both. When I write, I take every thought I've ever had. Every experience. Every fleeting feeling. When I write about sad things, I think about sad things that have happened to me. When I write about happy things, I think about happy things that have happened to me. When I write about anger, I become angry. When I write about love...
******** you, brain, for ever thinking of that.
Every single moment of pain is released, as is the joy. It's a very odd experience.
At least I can control the outcome. The whole thing about writing a story is that it becomes tangible. I created this world, and I have more control over it than I do with most of my life for as long as I live. If I don't like something, I can go back and change it. If I screw up, I can go back and fix it. I become the characters, feeling their pain and sorry... but also their elation and joy. Anything that happens to them happens to ME. I can find joy and happiness and love through my characters, even though they are not me, because they are mine. And until I can find those things in the world I am trapped in, I can continue to live through my creations as they carry on living in their world...
