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idk i'm just writing it


Rokkin
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11 comments
Happy Birthday
copyright 2009 Elyse M. Clark

As the girl sits in her house
the killer waits for his strike
Its her birthday and shes all alone
the killer stops to talk on his phone
as she goes to turn on the tv
the killer slides in the house
He sees the birthday decorations, but moves on
she changes the channel and wonders why her parents left
He pulls out a gun and hides behind the couch
she turns abound as if she hears something
He jumps out with the gun to her head
as she yells, "Please don't shoot me its my birthday!"
he says with a twisted smile, "Happy Birthday...." and pulls the trigger





User Comments: [11]
Morbidly Fascinating
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comment Commented on: Thu Jul 09, 2009 @ 03:18am
Lol, I think you should change it to a short story rather than poem so it kinda.. uhm. Flows better? xD

Like:
As the girl sits in her house. A killer wait's for his strike, bidding his time for the perfect moment.
BLAHBKAHBKAH
"Please don't shoot me, it's my birthday!," she yells trembling in fear.
With a twisted smile, "Happy Birthday..."
He pulled the trigger.



(iono xD it's still pretty good and my example sucked)


comment Commented on: Thu Jul 09, 2009 @ 04:23am
no carie ur comment example was really good...thank u



Rokkin
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Morbidly Fascinating
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comment Commented on: Thu Jul 09, 2009 @ 05:05am
Lol if you say so...
stare


comment Commented on: Thu Jul 09, 2009 @ 06:04pm
OMG DID SHE DIE??
biggrin i blame her parents



suffokated
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Rokkin
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comment Commented on: Fri Jul 10, 2009 @ 02:49am
yes rylie she died....and yea her parents were suckish xd


comment Commented on: Fri Jul 10, 2009 @ 03:15am
did you make that up ?!
frikin disturbing...



mAnda_luvv
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Rokkin
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comment Commented on: Fri Jul 10, 2009 @ 09:07pm
yup amanda i wrote the whole thing myself.....i like it


comment Commented on: Thu Jul 16, 2009 @ 02:50am
i like it to,,,,but its fukkin disturbing



mAnda_luvv
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Rokkin
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comment Commented on: Mon Jul 27, 2009 @ 03:15am
haha disturbing....at least its not real


comment Commented on: Tue Jul 28, 2009 @ 03:07am
still freaks me out



mAnda_luvv
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Rokkin
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comment Commented on: Sat Aug 01, 2009 @ 04:37pm
freaked my parents out too...


User Comments: [11]
 
 
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