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Why? I have a huge question that can be summed up in one word. Why? And don't give me that bs answer "why not" please. I'm not in the mood. Yes. Once again I have fallen into depression. Not that some of you care, but, what the hell. I'm starting to not care either. Every single effing day sucks. Well, not really. There are plenty of good days when I'm not able to think about the past. But one thing that I can't change no matter how hard I try, the fact that every single god damn night I can't fall asleep because no matter how much I try not to, I think of the past. So eff you past. I do so well as a hollow heartless shell of a b*****d until you sneak up on me and show that I still have a heart for you. I'm sick of this. There is so much that I want to shout, so much I want to do, so much that I want to say. But no. No one will hear them. Some will never get the truth again. Others will get most of the truth. No one will know my darkest thoughts. Oh, and, if anyone even thinks of making a crack about the fact that I never really asked the why questions or explained it, go screw yourself. I think I'll make another AMV despite the fact I'll probably get yelled at and hated, but, what the hell? I'm addicted to a book series that reminds me of the past. Sad, huh? But the Beatles have all the right songs that properly explain my feelings. Except for the dark ones. I have yet to come across a Beatles song that describes my darkest thoughts and feelings. So, I guess I just have one thing left to say. Good night, and good luck. (Which, coincidentally, is the name of a George Clooney film about a guy we named one of our campus buildings after.)

Posted by: Nathan Oukami Thu Jul 30, 2009 @ 08:12am

Beware when day meets dark. Beware crossroads, where they skulk. They can lurk in fire's crackle and easily travel on sparks. Beware gloomy places among rocks, under things, down holes and caves and shafts of every kind, for the fey can slip along borders

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Kankuro_Sunagakure
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Commented on: Thu Jul 30, 2009 @ 09:14am


	To be honest, I do not know why. The most important answers seem to be the hardest to find. And when we do find them, they are just questions within themselves.....or so it seems. Know that there are people out there, such as myself, who do care for souls with the agony of understanding pain to it's fullest extent. Befriend me if you will, if you ignore me, that is your choice, but know we have one thing in common. We seek answers, within ourselves, within others, and within the world around us. As for musically being related, this is why I listen to death metal. It usually helps me. For example, if you're mourning over the loss of someone dear to you, listen to Fade to Black by Metallica. It's a slow song, but it's deep, and mourning. If darkness is what you seek, try Alesana or Children of Bodom (WARNING THEY ARE SCREAMO) 'Cause everyday when the knife in my back starts to twinge and turn, My eyes start to bleed and my heart starts to burn. A foot away from you is like being closer to heaven But then again it's like being NEEDLED 24/7! -Children of Bodom, Needled 24/7

Commented on: Thu Jul 30, 2009 @ 11:49pm


	To hell with the stupid 'Why' question! We are merely human, walking beside our shadow. That's the reason. We live to fulfill our part and our duty bestowed to us when we are birthed. We live, make life the best we can and then die. Even though destiny seems unfair, we still live and struggle. Love is what makes us stray. People who believe to love adn then don't. Shove aside those feelings and you're blindfolded. Never stray from the path your given because it's the only light you've got, the only hand stretched out to help you. There are times when the world seems unfair, but never ever give up. Get rid of the past, shrug it off. Know it's only a dream. Sadly, we feel burdened by the sadness that gets rubbed off onto us. We become Despaired and unable to continue on. Once it clings, it attachs and makes us unable to move, to think without putting the grief in our words, our expressions. But, postively. We've got companions, friends and even rivals. Even though Rivals seem to out do us, we still parry back with the same attitude. Never go down the black hole, it's a hole no ONE can get out of. So, think for a second. Think, who'll this help? Who'll this hurt? Then, after, reliase and then stop. Stop and move on. Because there are people around that'll help.

ZayzI
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Nathan Oukami
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Commented on: Thu Jul 30, 2009 @ 11:55pm


	-shrugs- I can't shrug off the past. I've tried. It bites me in the a**. I can only forget about it during the day. That's when I'm at my best. Then at night I'm at my worst. Right now I'm all blah and hungry.

Commented on: Thu Jul 30, 2009 @ 11:57pm


	It's called, you keep trying, it's like a weight. Keep shaking it until it falls off.

ZayzI
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Nathan Oukami
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Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 12:00am


	And what do you think I've been trying to do for the past few months?

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 12:13am


	She's right y'know. The harder you fight now, the better of you'll be when you get out of this depression. And even if it seems like it will never go away, there will be times when that hope and light comes back to you. Find it and cling to it. Don't give up when you're so much stronger than that.

Harui_Cho
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Nathan Oukami
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Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 12:22am


	Well, I haven't given up yet Ann. Besides, it's not like it's a constant thing. It comes and goes. Mainly it comes back whenever I accidentally start focusing on the past and what I'd like to say now. So, I suppose it comes back every single night and then leaves in the morning. I'll be fine. You shouldn't worry.

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