View User's Journal



And I feel sick to my somtach Because thats all I was ever meant to feel No one can be loved by this cold heart Warmth doesnt come from this body I was swallowed into darkness And now it has stopped my emotions From ever being able to get through There is something wrong me with me Ive known it all along I might cry tears, but are they real? Or was I just programmed to do that Maybe Im just lost Maybe Im where I was meant to end up And I feel sick to my stomach Because thats all I was ever meant to feel

Posted by: Inverno houra Roselia Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 07:08am

And this, And this, And this, And it means Nothing.

User Comments: [25] [add]

Xameus
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 07:12am


	It wasnt always this way....

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 07:14am


	I know it wasnt, but this is how it has ended up...because its the way Im meant to be...

Inverno houra Roselia
Community Member

Offline

Xameus
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 07:18am


	You can always go back....

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 07:19am


	How? How do I reverse such a horrible proccess?

Inverno houra Roselia
Community Member

Offline

Xameus
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 07:22am


	You dont.... Ive saved you from yourself before.. as long as you let me I can do it again... as long as you let me.... and understand.... You know this.... Things dont end here....

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 07:24am


	And what if they do end here?

Inverno houra Roselia
Community Member

Offline

Xameus
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 07:27am


	Your story doesnt end here, if it did you would be gone by now, and you would be alone.... But you arent...You still have a goal,and you still have people who support you... Who care about you....

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 07:29am


	sigh emo

Inverno houra Roselia
Community Member

Offline

Xameus
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 07:36am


	You may not care or love me anymore, but Im still here, and things were never this bad when you were with me. Why? because when I had the chance, I made sure things wouldnt crash down like this.... we overcame everything.... but without me, and rejecting me, and other friends like me..... things have gotten alot worse when youve made choices on your own... and I dont want you to learn everything the hard way like I did, I want you to be safe and protected from these things, even if you are strong and mature enough to face them.... I dont want you to go through that kind of pain like you are now... I never wanted you to...

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 07:44am


	I do still care and love you, but I guess your just another person that doesnt believe it. Things have been this bad when I was with you...We didnt overcome everything, if we could have overcome everything we would still be together. Im not rejecting you and friends like you, why does everyone think I am so against them? So I can make choices on my own now?...Im I realy that incapable...?....Well, im starting to learn everything the hard way. I can never be fully protected by these things...Well, I am going through the pain I am right now....its a little to late to not want it happen... You may not care or love me anymore, but Im still here, and things were never this bad when you were with me. Why? because when I had the chance, I made sure things wouldnt crash down like this.... we overcame everything.... but without me, and rejecting me, and other friends like me..... things have gotten alot worse when youve made choices on your own... and I dont want you to learn everything the hard way like I did, I want you to be safe and protected from these things, even if you are strong and mature enough to face them.... I dont want you to go through that kind of pain like you are now... I never wanted you to...

Inverno houra Roselia
Community Member

Offline

Xameus
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 07:49am


	Things werent as bad as this, and it wasnt because of me for sure, and we arent together because you wanted to be with others... as a new experience.... And rather than defying me and everything I say maybe its time you listened and understood... and accept these things for what they are...

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 07:51am


	We couldnt overcome everything because you broke apart the we and turned it into only you, you and your interests, dreams, and experiences you wanted to try out, to try to prove yourself... to try to see if there was something better out there than me.... I always wanted everything to be alright, and I always put us first, I was ever unfaithful, or had my doubts... I didnt give up

Xameus
Community Member

Offline

Inverno houra Roselia
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 08:00am


	Of course it wasnt because of you, it was because of you. I ruin everything. I wanted to be with others because it seemed like things with you werent working out...and because of other reasons you know of... Im not defying you...I am trying to listen and understand and accept everything for what it is. How come when I actually listen to my friends, instead of going against them, it ends up being all my fault? I listened to Brad, Jenna, Brent, and a few other people and I get yelled at and it makes me a bad person for wanting to be happy and for listening to my friends... I wasnt try to prove myself, and I was doing what I thought was best for me...Maybe there is someone better out there for me. Thaddeus could have been that person, but who knows now because he thinks I dont love him. I wanted things to be alright also, I put you first for along time...That part is a lie, you did have your doubts.

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 08:06am


	Someone out there better for you? Rebecca, you need to start fixing problems for yourself before trying to reach higher and higher.... And when you listened to me things werent always your fault.... it would be me, I would take the blame and your friends would blame me...Because I would for you.....

Xameus
Community Member

Offline

Inverno houra Roselia
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 08:13am


	I have fixed a lot of problems...but I guess not enough because im still ******** up...So im just supposed to listen to you the rest of my life so that when I make a mistake its not always going to be my fault...? What about listening to myself...? What about I taking the blame..? I have before, I can will all my other mistakes...

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 08:16am


	Maybe you'll learn to truly regret when Im not here anymore, and the day when I say that I dont love you... because thats the path you walk towards... maybe Ill realize that you are just a lost cause, and that you crave this drama, and you enjoy torturing me..

Xameus
Community Member

Offline

Inverno houra Roselia
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 08:19am


	I truly regret a lot of things... I dont crave this drama..I dont crave any of this...I want to be happy... And I dont enjoy torturing you...or anyone for that matter...

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 08:28am


	I am the answer, refuse me if you want... either way Im strong enough to deal with this... or deal with giving up on you forever...

Xameus
Community Member

Offline

Inverno houra Roselia
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 08:30am


	How are you the answer, because you know it?...

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 08:36am


	I can be the solution....I can take away the pain, Ive changed for you... remember? Im always here for you.... I can make you feel loved....

Xameus
Community Member

Offline

Inverno houra Roselia
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 08:38am


	Yes...I remember... emo

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 08:40am


	If I could do it all again I would for you...

Xameus
Community Member

Offline

Inverno houra Roselia
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 08:42am


	cry

Commented on: Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 08:45am


	Id go through all this pain again, and in my past if it meant that you would feel none... I just want you to finally be happy crying

Xameus
Community Member

Offline

User Comments: [25] [add]

Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

More Information