Based on recent happenings I believe that being alone for the rest of my life will cause permanent psychotic damage to my mental stability. When I get lonely, as in I need to be with someone special at that moment, I get sad. When I get sad, I get discouraged. When I get discouraged, I feel heartbroken. Sometime after that I'll try listening to music in an attempt to calm me down. The problem with this is that music doesn't calm me down, it shifts emotions to another state of mind. Instead of feeling emo (for lack of a better descriptor) I can get a little angry. This tiny bit of anger won't escalate. Instead it fuels dark thoughts (of which I will not speak) that lead to disturbing images in my head somehow. This also continues on to a point where I begin to feel literal insanity in my head.
Now we're all crazy in some way, I'll admit that, but feeling a point of absolute insanity is not a pleasant experience. If ever you feel that way, stop. I don't care how you do it, just stop it. It's a friendly warning. If I can't ever be with someone in the way I need, I'm positive I'll literally lose my mind. Anyway, that's my most recent discovery about myself.
No comments please.
