Thanks for reading my first journal entry!
Do you ever feel like a failure?
Do you ever feel like dying?
Do you ever feel like just because you did something wrong that it's the end of the world?
Do you ever feel like just because you did something wrong that one, or many people, won't love you, or like you, anymore?
Cheer up! Life will go on! Have faith in God because guess what? God's going to help you through your hard times.
Just yesterday, i was in Paris, Texas for All Region Band tryouts. After waiting a few hours, I got my chance to shine and do well or totally bomb my tryouts. After I got out, I was feeling pretty good about my performance and went to find my friends who were already finished.
My friends and I waited another hour or so outside, having a good time and talking while getting up every few minutes to check insde for posted results.
Every time i got up, I began to lose a little more hope, thinking that maybe I didn't make it and hoping that maybe, just maybe, I would at least make it into the concert band. (symphonic band=best band, concert band=not as good as the people who made it into the symphonic band)
One of my friends, my best friend, came out and sat down at the picnic table everyone else from my school was at. Before I knew it, I saw a tear roll down her face and I leaned over to ask her what was wrong. She shook her head, tears streaming and her eyes sparkling with her tears of sadness. "I got 40th chair," she told me,"they didn't take that many." Oh, no,I thought. I leaned over to give her a hug, trying to console her to the best of my ability.
My other friend sitting across from me called me over to her. Then she whispered in my ear, calmly,"You made 30th chair." I jumped up, glad that I mde that high out of over 70, and thinking that I probably made th concert band, and that there was no way I could have made the symphonic band.
As I started walking toward the school building, I saw one of the guys that came for tryouts (from my school)and h had a broad smile onhis face. "You made 30th chair,"he said. Yeah, I know, I thought. "They only took 22 and 2 alternates." My stomach dropped an I tried not to cry in front of him because I didn't want him to think I was weak. Why are you smiling so big then?, I wondered, beginning to get very angry.
I turned and began to walk back to the table. Tears began to stream down my face, feeling like such a failure and a horrible friend. My sister made it when she was my age, and she's always done well, leaving my parents overjoyed. My best friend had done worse than me, yet I was still crying, and that's why I felt like the worst friend in the world.
"I don't want to go home," I told my best friend,"I'd rather die than go home to disappoint my parents." I leaned my head on my hands, trying to hide my face.My best friend leaned over to me and gave me a hug, and I felt her tears fall on my shoulder as mine fell to the ground.
I thought I would never get through this and I kept wishing to die.
I'm still a little upset, but I know God's going to get my best friend and me through this.
Nine people (That's a lot ,huh? jk) from my school went to Paris, Texas for tryouts yesterday (including me). My best friend, the guy who was smiling so big when he told me I didn't make it, and I were the only three out of the nine that went from my school that, sadly, did not make it.
Everything happens for a reason, though we may not know what the reason is.
I have faith in God and guess what?
Faith Never Fails~ heart
