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Wow. It's been months, maybe even a year, since I searched their names online. I found articles, describing the crash and the people it killed. I'm not sure why it's affecting me now, with the date still three weeks away.

But it is. And I just want all the pain to go away. I will not cut myself, not again. It didn't work. All I can do is stay within my own mind, and pray that someday, I will be released from my sorrow.

I'm sick of it. Said boyfriend in my last journal entry I broke up with. I had another one, but he broke up with me after three and a half days to go out with my current boyfriend's little sister. I hate drama.

So it was all a big mess. And I still miss Shawn more than ever.